There's No Love In the Deathzone (BL)-Chapter 75 - 73. Chasing Light

"He came often?" Zein asked then—since they were already on the topic, might as well satiate his curiosity.

"Sometimes," the Guildmaster answered with a light smile, and Zein couldn’t decipher how often was that ’sometimes’. Like...once a year? Once a week? "Drink?"

"Just water," Zein glanced toward the ’butler’ and other summoned creatures who were there again. "I thought you didn’t get along well?"

Observing the man, Zein saw the crimson eyes curled, and the lips beneath flashed a cold smile. "We didn’t," he said, with a slight disdain underneath. "As a matter of fact, I hate him."

Zein tried to remember the flushed, blissful face he witnessed earlier, the submissive whine and moans as he walked out.

"But I love him too," Radia, who was leaning back, rubbed his lips with two fingers, eyes staring vacantly at the desk. "Well, at least I love his body,"

"So you maintain a physical relationship under everyone’s eyes?"

Instead of answering, Radia cocked his head toward something on the table, a sealing box with something ominous behind it. Zein had never seen that kind of box—made of reinforced metal with layers of protection arrays carved into it. But from the size and the way it gave him a nostalgic creep, Zein could take a guess.

"A corrupted mana stone?"

"Oh~it’s so nice talking to people who don’t need much explanation," Radia exhaled in delight, the crimson eyes curled in satisfaction.

Ignoring that remark, Zein tilted his head in ponder. Bringing up this stone when he asked about their relationship meant that the one who got that stone was Han Joon, and it was being delivered today. Was that why Radia couldn’t help but succumb to the man’s whim, even ignoring his previous engagement with Zein?

Something else occurred to the guide then, and he raised his brow in realization. "Is this found inside that dungeon on Saturday?"

The presence of a corrupted mana stone would also explain the anomaly happening to the boss, especially if the mana stone was powerful enough to still give him the creep even after being sealed.

"My, my, aren’t you a sharp one," Radia chuckled, tapping his lips with his fingers, eyes gleaming in amusement.

Zein didn’t really appreciate being looked at like a plaything, so he tilted his head with a sneer behind his mask. "What? So you bartered this stone with your body?"

There was a silence when the summoned creatures stopped moving and Zein waited for Radia to lash out or something. But the man just laughed quietly and answered with a deep smirk, as the butler put a glass of water in front of the guide as if saying it was the end of the topic. What could Zein say to that vague agreement? He just felt like those two’s relationship became more mysterious the more he tried to dig around it.

Something weighed heavily on his mind though—why would Radia tell him that much?

"Is this your way of saying you trust me?" Zein leaned back and crossed his arms, trying to solve the mystery. "And so I should trust you too?"

Radia laughed and snapped his fingers, crimson eyes staring keen and sharp. "See, this is why you’re fun."

Rolling his eyes, Zein looked straight at the man and asked. "So what do you want?"

"For now, everything that you saw inside that memory," the crimson eyes no longer glint playfully now, and the sharp smile was strictly business. "Leave nothing out."

* * *

"I see," Radia nodded with closed eyes, body visibly relaxed, laying on a chaise lounge like a therapy patient. But the one who kept talking wasn’t him, but the man holding his hand with a mask on. "That’s a long movie to be watched."

It wasn’t his first time guiding while doing something else, but it was Zein’s first time guiding while talking nonstop, making a report.

Since Radia only had time until lunch, they decided to just multitask, guiding and reporting simultaneously. It was good for Zein anyway, distracting him from Radia’s mana core.

The man was like a marsh—it wasn’t deep, but vast and deceitful. Dark, dirty mud sedimented at the bottom, where countless poisonous red flowers grew. The roots of those flowers were connected to a cocoon of a crimson fairy with a black blindfold holding onto a silver line going up up up into the dark sky.

Probably toward a night star somewhere up above.

It was beautiful and eerie at the same time, but also...quite sad.

"What exactly happened between the two of you?" Zein blurted out unknowingly, couldn’t help himself with the growing curiosity.

He couldn’t understand the longing, when they were still in the same part of the world, still meeting up like before, even if it was done behind closed doors. What did it mean to hate and love someone at the same time?

The crimson eyes opened then, and Radia glanced at Zein with a smile. "I don’t expect you to be curious about that," there was a slight amusement in his tone. "Or are you trying to find some kind of answer for yourself in my reply?"

Zein twitched—it was never a good feeling being seen through. Radia narrowed his eyes slightly before closing them again, and responding with a calm, easy tone.

"I don’t think you’ll find one through me," the esper said with a smile. "Me and Joon...we’re already in a bad place. We can’t live without each other, but we can’t walk alongside each other. We are...poisonous to the core."

When the guide only looked at him in silence, Radia moved the hand that was connected with Zein with a playful smile. "Bassena...is a pure one. You should know that already."

"Mm," Zein could agree with that. While Radia’s longing for Han Joon felt desperate and blind, Bassena longed for Zein with a child’s stubborn innocence of a first love.

"Don’t worry about him," the man chuckled at Zein’s short reply, "I think it’s right for you to be sure about yourself first," the crimson eyes opened again, but this time, Zein could see self-mockery instead of its usual sharp glint. "It’s quite hard to get out once you’re trapped inside someone’s intense feeling."

"...is that what happened to you?"

Again, Radia laughed freely. "Us? Hmm—yeah...we’re trapped in each other’s tendencies."

"What—"

"His obsession...makes me obsessed with him," Radia smiled to himself, and then laughed. But he sounded content with himself, despite his mocking words. "We’re just a pair of very selfish people. So don’t worry—I don’t think you’ll be worse than us in any way,"

Zein felt quite weird. This guiding session that looked like a therapy session suddenly turned out into a real consultation session—more or less. And it happened with someone he never thought he would have a heart-to-heart conversation with. The sense that he knew something about Radia that no one else did really made it easier for him to open up.

Just then, Radia asked him with a genuine smile on his face, as if the man himself also felt liberated. "Was that enough for you to trust me?"

"...maybe,"

"Enough to tell me what you and Bassena had been hiding?"

Zein raised his brow, feeling the crimson eyes staring at him sharply. "...what do you mean?"

Without taking his hand off Zein’s, Radia shifted from his laying position and sat up, leaning forward so he was eye-to-eye with the guide. "Your ability, it’s not just about communicating with the shard, is it?"

"Mm..." Zein tried to feign ignorance with his naturally impassive eyes, staring straight into the inquisitive crimson orbs.

The smile widened on the esper’s face, and the hand held tighter to the guide’s. "There’s also your medical examination result,"

"Ah..." he forgot about that one. Of course, the Guildmaster would receive a report on the result of his medical exam.

"It’s apparent by watching your record inside the Deathzone anyway—the one that’s not being cut and edited," the esper continued with a shrug. The raw recording was locked behind an access wall, but not to a Guildmaster.

Radia tilted his head slightly with a deep smile, sharp eyes peering keenly into Zein’s. "So you can harness magic energy," he announced his conclusion with utmost surety, and Zein sighed.

Well, it wasn’t like he thought he could keep it forever, especially in front of sharp eyes like Radia’s. Actually, he already thought Bassena would have told the man, but it seemed like the Serpent Lord gave more importance to Zein’s trust than anything.

How adorable, Zein thought.

Sure, this kind of information...it would probably be better for him to divulge it to the Guildmaster, so the man wouldn’t put an impossible benchmark for the new division.

"I can convert the corrosion I absorb into raw magic energy," Zein answered nonchalantly, as if he just stating a weather report or something.

"Haa—hahaha!" Radia laughed loudly with a shaking shoulder, covering his mouth with a free hand. "So you’re basically like our purification device?"

"Well..." that was the kind of impression Zein had for the device as well—oh, it’s like me.

"And why, oh why, my dear guide," the laughter died down, and Radia stared at him with eyes full of wonder—serious and amused at the same time. "Why do you have all of these abilities?"

Now, this...this was something that Zein need to think about more. Was he ready to give this man the piece of truth that he himself had only found out during the expedition? Did he trust this man enough?

Zein stared back at the crimson orbs—it was as deep as it was mysterious. But he knew Bassena trusted this man. In fact, a lot of people trusted this man with their livelihood. And since he already saw the state of the mana core, he knew that Radia didn’t lie about him and Han Joon. Honestly, Zein also wouldn’t be able to know the truth if it wasn’t for the expedition held by Mortix.

On the other hand, it was a matter so big Zein wasn’t sure it was enough to be called a mere secret.

"I will tell you," Zein said eventually, after a full minute of silent contemplation. The blue eyes gazed sharply toward the esper. "If you do me a favor."

"Now we’re talking my language," Zein let go of his hand, and Radia leaned back with a satisfied smile. "Is it about that person who touched the shard in the memory?"

"Yes,"

"I can do that," Radia nodded, his demeanor turned serious now. He drummed his lips in contemplation before looking at Zein. "Although it’ll be faster if you give me a piece of information,"

"What’s that?"

"The guide genetic came from your mother’s side, right?" he asked, and Zein frowned for a bit. But he knew it was information Radia knew already, so he just nodded. "Do you know your mother’s name?"

Again, such a tricky question. Zein had never, ever, in his entire life, uttered his mother’s name. He wasn’t even sure if he knew—he just caught that rotten man mentioning it along with derogatory words, and the grandma whispered it in sadness.

"Lucia," for the first time, that name came out of Zein’s lips. It felt weird and foreign on his tongue, and his calm face twisted strangely as he uttered it. "I’m not really sure, but that might be it."

Radia observed the guide for a bit, seeing the frown deepen for a second before unraveling, back to the impassive man. He smiled and nodded to the guide then. "Alright, see you later."

With that, Zein got up and walked toward the door that was politely being opened by one of the summoned assistants. But before he crossed the threshold, Zein turned his head.

"By the way...were you doing it purposely?" the guide asked with narrowed eyes. "Letting me know about you two?"

Letting him know, and then creating this whole ’trust exchange’ between them. He wouldn’t put it past Radia Mallarc to do something like that; purposefully not telling Zein that he was preoccupied with some carnal exercise and making the guide walk-in in the middle of them doing it.

The crimson eyes just curled nicely in response. "Have a nice lunch, Zein."

"Be sure to call me that from now on," the guide scoffed before walking out of the room along with the esper’s chuckle.

Long after the guide left the room, Radia lounged in his velvet chaise with his legs up. Staring at the chandelier above him, the esper muttered with a smile to the ’butler’ massaging his feet.

"Nyx, what do you imagine when someone says the words serene lake?"

The summoned butler just glanced at its Master with a smile, knowing that Radia didn’t expect any answer.

"I imagine a beautiful, calm lake with sunlight reflecting on its surface, glimmering with the sway of a gentle breeze," Radia closed his eyes, and muttered the name once again. "Lucia..."

When the crimson eyes opened, they gleamed sharply. "Let’s chase the light of that beautiful lake."