There's No Love In the Deathzone (BL)-Chapter 74: [Bonus - ] The Flower’s Star (1)

It was like a night sky, those eyes. They were a fascinating black, like an ink stain. Not a dark brown, but a very deep grey like the dead of the night. Once you gaze inside, however, there were flashes of light there.

Hidden desires.

That was my first thought as I looked into his eyes.

We were mere kids then, twelve and thirteen. Mischievous, bored kids. Making chaos at a party. And by chaos, I didn’t mean pouring drinks to a lady’s dress, or setting a wild dog loose inside the venue. By chaos, I mean revealing a scandal or two through the big screen of the ballroom. The drinks were pouring over some people’s heads, yes, but not directly by my hand.

It was fun, a little laugh for my boring little perfect world.

As I laughed at the couples tearing at each other and people who tried to separate them from the second-floor railing, I saw him. Staring at me from the other direction--eyes like midnight, cold and deep.

I knew him, of course. The eldest son of a prominent military family. Perhaps because of his background, he looked so stoic, so firm, standing with perfect posture even while he was observing me from afar.

I casted my gaze upon him then, giving him my best, charming smile. He was handsome, even as a teenager. He would make a very handsome adult, although probably a very boring one too, if the way he stood was any indication.

And then he smiled. No--he smirked. Eyes flashed in amusement. I realized then, that he knew about my deeds, about how I was the one who released the footage on the big screen.

That glint in his seemingly dead eyes, that deep smirk that felt like a sneer, the small blink he did as he turned away and disappeared in the shadow.

Suddenly, my perfect little word didn’t feel as boring anymore.

* * *

The next time I saw him, it was in the academy.

We were in different departments, of course. He was a physical-type, and I was a summoner. I saw him from afar, diligently training his body, which shaped up nicely each time my eyes landed on him. He seemed to always come the earliest, and stayed in the training hall even after everyone had come home.

Truly, a typical model student.

Me? I was just doing whatever I wanted.

Sometimes, our eyes met within the hall, or during school meetings. I caught his brief gaze once when I was fooling around with another student in an empty classroom. I stared at those dark grey eyes while pushing the other student’s head between my legs further. Those eyes just stared back at me quietly before walking away.

I used that classroom a few times more after that, hoping that I’d be caught by those eyes again.

But even after a whole year, even after bumping into him a few times more, I still couldn’t meet that deep smile and twinkling dark eyes I saw the first time.

But life had never disappointed me before--didn’t I say that my world was perfect? An opportunity to observe him closer came to me on its own.

Bassena Vaski.

The Golden Viper’s new weapon. An unruly, wild kid filled with poison. The brat had managed to wound so many of his classmates, even the instructors, acting like a berserker in need of sedative.

Me, the representative of the magic user; Han Joon, the representative of physical espers--the task to tame this mad dog fell upon us.

Ah, it was good days of beating the shit out of the kid five years younger than me, but that wasn’t the important part. What was important was that I got to converse with and observe Han Joon closely.

At first, it was truly disappointing. He really was the mini soldier of the Han household, so strict and firm and reserved. He only spoke when needed, and his face was like a stone. Wasn’t it such a total waste for that handsome face?

The strange thing was he didn’t give off a distant vibe, and he was actually the one who managed to make Bas calmer--rather, he made the boy submit and followed him around like an adorable little brother. Although he didn’t speak a lot, he spoke kindly to the boy, like an actual brother.

Whereas he spoke to me like a colleague.

"I have a little brother," he said, when I ask him about the way he dealt with Bas’s tantrum.

Such a boring answer--it’ll be more interesting if he said he was trying to appeal to the kid’s craving for familial affection. Better yet, if he said he just wanted to manipulate the kid so he became dependent on us.

Honestly, I wouldn’t be interested in him if it wasn’t because of that smirk he gave me during the party a few years ago. What is it? What was this man hiding? What kind of personality he had beneath that stoic, stone face?

I thought that however carefully he hid it, he would slip one way or another. Like when he fought with Bas--which later on became their daily training regime. I observed him keenly, trying to see if he became a manic battle frenzy when things got heated. Wishing I could witness that deep smirk and glinting eyes while he swung his metal wires.

No dice on that smirk, although I still got turned on seeing him overpowering Bassena-genius-of-the-century-Vaski.

Everyone said the same thing about him, that he was a reserved, disciplined, model student kind. From the students to the teachers, all said the same thing.

I wondered if his family would say the same.

After Bas got calmer and we were sure he would no longer try to strangle people with his darkness just because he was a bit upset, I made a suggestion of introducing him to Joon’s little brother. While we were definitely the closest he had as a friend, five years was too much of an age gap for teenagers.

What would happen after both of us graduated then?

Han Shin, however, was just a year younger than him. At that time, the kid just got awakened, and hadn’t entered the academy yet. I said I would even tutor the little brother while at it, prepping him for the academy.

My objection really was to visit his home and ask the little brother about him, though.

He agreed nicely, and we turned from a beast tamer to babysitter, watching two kids getting to know each other, while making sure one didn’t annoy the other enough to cause an incident. And as the kids became closer, so were we.

He started to speak more casually, and I started to visit the Han’s residence whenever I felt bored--which was practically all the time. Even when the kids were not there, even when there was no tutoring to do.

Even when there was nothing to do, really.

I just lounged in his room, rolling around in his bed, watching him diligently study the school material. He totally ignored me while he did, by the way.

It made me wonder what he thought about me.

I was sure he knew how I fare. He witnessed me fooling around with students and teachers more than enough times already--men and women, even summoned creatures. I didn’t really set boundaries, so long as it’s interesting and pleasurable.

And that kind of loose person was always hanging around him, laying on his bed, his couch, sitting on his chair and table. I never touched him blatantly, but I also never masked my gaze upon his figure. He knew I totally eyeing him every time he came out of the shower, watching his bare torso dripping with water and salivating upon his muscle.

Did he know I fantasize about him when I got off? Did he know I projected him into the people I slept with? Did he know I whispered his name so often during those times?

Perhaps he did.

Perhaps he knew everything, never put a stop to it, but also never do anything himself. And the more he stalled, the more impatient I became.

In the end, even all of those fooling around, that I started because of boredom, became boring. No matter who I did it with, my head was filled with him. Since it became useless then, I just stopped doing it altogether, and started to spend my time in his room more often.

Still, I couldn’t glimpse that alluring smirk and glitter of stars in his midnight eyes.

It had been five years already.

Without realizing it, my thought had become filled with this burning obsession of seeing his other side. I started to realize that he had never shown that expression to anyone else. That I was the only one who got wise of his hidden side. Even little Shin told me that his older brother was a stoic, strict, boring man, to the point that the kid ask me if I didn’t get bored spending time in his brother’s den.

Strangely, I didn’t.

There was nothing much in his bedroom. Just what a studious, diligent teenager had. There wasn’t even a poster or entertainment form. It was as dry and boring as his usual attitude.

But there was his scent there--musky and soapy. I could smell his body wash and shampoo every time I lay down in his bed. Sometimes, it even lulled me into sleep. When I did, he didn’t even bother to wake me up and tell me to go home, just laid down beside me and slept on his own. Even when I got mischievous and snuggled into him, hugging his solid torso, and felt a touch or two, he just accepted it silently.

It started to piss me off.

Was I not acting forward enough? Was I not seducing him enough?

Wait. Why should I go out of my way to seduce him anyway? That wasn’t like me. With other people, I just told them I wanted to fuck, and they happily obliged. Some even begged me to have my way with them.

What was this stone wall that never moved even after five years?

Right. I am Radia Mallarc. I only need to ask and I shall receive it.

And so I asked.

"Hey, Joon, let’s fuck?"

He lifted his face from the dungeon theory book in his hand, finally sparing me a glance. I saw it then, a flash inside his eyes, the glint of glimmering stars. My smirking lips faltered as my heart pounded loudly.

And then, with that deep baritone voice of his that haunted my dream long after this, he answered shortly; "No."

I bit my lips, not because of his rejection.

But because I finally saw it; the deep smile I had been searching for five years.