There's No Love In the Deathzone (BL)-Chapter 711: Side Story 3. Stellar Blossom - 46

After fooling around some more in the shower and taking a real shower, their car left the Peak around an hour later.

It would be Joon’s second time going through Mortix Hill after the hospital visit before, but he had already memorized the path. That was why, when the car took a different route, away from the hospital, Han Joon knew they were heading somewhere else.

"As I thought, they were moved?" he asked.

The last time he remembered, his sister’s ash was still in the hospital, and his mother’s was in a downtown Columbarium. But he did tell Radia about his plan to move them and put them together in the same vault one day.

"Yeah, after that person died," Radia replied quietly.

"My father?"

"...yes."

"Hmm..."

Han Joon stared outside the window like he always did. The black eyes, however, only registered blurry images. Indeed, he wouldn’t want to risk any movement that made his father know that he already found his sister’s ash. The last thing he wanted was for that sorry excuse of a father to throw out the ash of the daughter he never acknowledged.

But...there was something about Radia’s hesitant answer that made Han Joon think deeply. This kind of reaction had always been there ever since they told him that his father had died. Be it Shin, Bassena, or even Radia...they seemed to be hesitant to talk about it.

And even Shin called their father ’that person’ or used the name directly.

It was...suspicious. The possible answer to what might happen, however, wasn’t very difficult for Han Joon to come to.

"Did I do it?" Han Joon glanced at the reflection of the widened crimson eyes on the window and smiled. "That seemed to be the case."

"How--"

"Did you not tell me because you’re worried?" Han Joon turned his head to look at Radia’s hardened expression. He smiled and caressed the frowning brows. "As always, you’re very kind, Dee."

Radia pressed his lips. Joon had always been the only one calling him kind, calling him lovely, even calling him adorable. Honestly, it was absurd even for Radia, who couldn’t find those qualities in himself. But people did say love made you blind, so...

It was weirder for him to see how calm Joon was after knowing the fact.

"Does it not...disturb you?"

"Don’t be absurd," Han Joon replied with a scoff. "The moment I found your name in that system, I already knew I would have to face him sooner or later."

It didn’t make sense to think otherwise. His father had the death list. Naturally, his father was involved. Even if he managed to end everything quietly without facing his father even once, Joon couldn’t see his father the same way anymore.

"There was no way I would forgive him for putting you on a death list," he said coldly. "It wasn’t like he was ever a good presence in my life."

"Yeah, but..." Radia, who had been growing up in a healthy family, could not completely understand one’s detachment from one’s own parents. "Doing it by your own hand is different than--"

Han Joon pulled Radia by the shoulder and silenced his darling with a kiss. "Nothing--nothing will ever be harder than seeing your bloody figure inside my nightmares."

"...okay," Radia held the sharp jaw and pulled the hardened face for a softening kiss. "As long as you’re okay."

"I am now," Han Joon smiled sweetly as if the cold expression he had earlier was a lie.

They stopped talking about Joon’s father afterward. Radia was actually relieved that one of the heavy memories passed by just like that, and becoming delightfully chatty. Since Shin was not there to act as a guide, Radia took over and explained the changes that happened in the past twenty years, including the end of Operation Kronos and their famous Operation Fallen Star.

Han Joon could find them through his commlink anyway, so Radia could tell him about them without any burden. What he still couldn’t bring himself to talk about was Joon’s illness, and the man himself did not push for it.

All Han Joon cared about was listening to his darling’s voice throughout the drive. He was glad that the place was rather far away. They drove past the city gate, toward the famous golden field that was colored grey at this point. The car climbed the hill and entered the solemn, yet soft atmosphere of a cemetery complex.

From the parking lot, Radia held Joon’s hand, and they walked through a slightly sloped pathway, which was flanked by plum blossom trees. Several white flowers upon dark branches peeking through the small plum forest, creating a delicate, serene tunnel on their way to see their loved ones’ remains.

Han Joon looked around the area, where he could see a building at the end of the path, and a field of flowers on the one side of the hill. "This is..."

"It’s where Bassena’s mother is," Radia gestured toward the field of flowers. "He moved her to the cemetery here after he came of age."

"I see," Han Joon muttered solemnly. "I’m sorry I couldn’t help him."

When Han Joon left, Bassena was still in the academy. He had planned to climb the tower right away, so he would probably not be in the Federation at that time.

"I didn’t know either," Radia said. "He did everything himself after receiving his mother’s inheritance."

"Good for him, although it’s quite far from his house."

Radia chuckled. "He thought about moving it to Zein’s lake house--with Zein’s parents--but Zein told him not to disturb her rest twice."

And Bassena would always obey his husband’s words. "Whose decision it is to move Mother and Noona here?"

"Shin thought it would be nice to visit together with Bassena sometimes," Radia chuckled at how much they bickered and yet always kept staying close to each other. "You said anywhere is fine as long as they’re together."

"Yeah," Han Joon stared at the entrance of the beautiful-looking columbarium, a gentle smile forming on his lips. "They had been lonely for too long."

It was his first time--at least in his current memory--visiting this place. He was glad that it wasn’t some somber, closed-off space. The building was painted in a calming white, and a wall of creeping roses gave the visitors some privacy while they were inside.

While each chamber was an enclosed space, they had a high ceiling and several vents that made sure air circulated well and enough sunlight poured inside. The vault was made of enchanted glass, protecting the containers inside from any environmental changes.

It was spacious, bright enough to not make it gloomy, but calm enough to preserve the solemnity. The visitor could take a seat comfortably while seeing their bereaved ones, and they could request a private room where the container would be brought to them, ensuring a more intimate visitation.

The staff, who expertly knew which visitor needed guidance and which one needed to be left alone, was nothing but respectful. They could provide anything from flowers to special offerings, and their gentle smile never felt too much for the mourning souls.

Looking at the place and the service, Han Joon already knew it cost a lot. He was wondering who paid for his mother’s and sister’s space, but then, both Radia and Shin had enough wealth to make a private monument if they wanted to.

Well, it wasn’t a monument, but the staff did lead them to a quiet chamber in the back. It wasn’t just a private room--it was one of the private chambers. There was only one vault there, with two beautiful containers side by side. Be it the vault, the table, and the corner of the small room were decorated with flowers--real flowers. A comfortable sofa was placed in front of the vault, so they could sit there in peace while talking to their family’s ashes.

"Shin and Reina decorated this place," Radia told Joon. "The sofa was yours, though."

Han Joon chuckled. "Did I come often?"

"Once in a while, when you wanted to drive a bit further away than Althrea," Radia replied with a smile. "You’d bring a book and read it here."

Han Joon smiled. He seemed to have a fairly peaceful and idle life after coming out of prison. He wondered what he did between that and falling sick. He knew soldiers had a limited field of work after they quit, so...

Did he do nothing but lounging around?

Han Joon grimaced at the thought, but it did seem plausible. He stood in front of the vault and smiled wryly at his mother and sister. Forgive your son and brother for being a lazy bum--he whispered in his mind.

He gazed at the vault with a soft smile, imagining Shin and Reina spreading frozen flower petals around the two containers, making it seem like they were sitting on a field of spring meadows. Those kids even put small animal figurines like rabbits and squirrels there--how elaborate.

And the ash containers themselves...Han Joon smiled. To make containers in the shape of flowers...it must have been Reina’s craft.

Seeing the satisfied smile on Joon’s lips, Radia felt his heart flooded with relief. Honestly, he had been feeling anxious. A twenty-year-old Joon...it was only three years before--when he was seventeen--that he found his sister’s ash.

"Do you remember the first time we found her?" Radia asked quietly.

"You found her," Han Joon corrected with a smile, taking his darling’s hand with gratitude.

Yes, it was Radia who found Nari’s ash. After finding out that Han Joon was that child from the morgue, and that his father had erased everything about his sister, Radia immediately asked the hospital’s administrator to conduct some research.

He thought that since the hospital provided cremation service, Han Gyeong’s aide would choose to do it there rather than moving the body elsewhere and potentially causing a scandal. The hospital, more often than not, kept unidentified ashes, so there was a possibility that the aide just left the container there.

Unfortunately, it was a memorable date. It didn’t take long for the hospital to find the container in question and conduct a DNA test with the bones inside, matching it with Joon’s DNA.

The day Radia brought Han Joon to his sister’s ash, was something unforgettable for him. Even if he didn’t have a perfect memory, he would never be able to forget it.

"It was the first time I saw you cry," Radia gripped Joon’s hand tightly.

Han Joon chuckled. "I must have looked pathetic."

"No," Radia shook his head.

When he saw the tears dripping from those unblinking dark eyes, he felt something shattering inside his heart.

Would you like me to leave? Radia had asked at that time, in case Han Joon wanted to mourn by himself.

But he received a different answer. Can you...stay with me?

It was a weak, exhausted voice. It was the tears Joon hadn’t been able to shed when he was seven. Radia found himself hugging the older boy, pressing the raven head onto his chest. And he cried. For the first time in his life, he cried for someone else’s sorrow.

Radia could smile at the memory now, just like Joon. "You looked human."

Han Joon raised his brow. Did he not look like a human before? Radia laughed at the man’s expression.

"It was the first time I saw you so vulnerable," Radia said. "I peeked past your deepest mask, and..."

Han Joon had shed his outer mask on Radia after they started their relationship. But Radia also knew that the mask had many layers. Beneath the stoic, model student mask, there was a layer of ice where Joon forced himself to be a responsible brother to Shin, to be a good lover to Radia, and to be an excellent esper for the world.

But at that moment, that layer broke, albeit temporarily. It was where he pushed all of his fear, concern, nightmares--all of his emotions--like the pandora box from the Old Age’s myth.

And when Radia peeked inside, he could never forget.

Looking at that boy, who had become an even more splendid man, Radia smiled. "It was when I truly fell in love with you."