There's No Love In the Deathzone (BL)-Chapter 707: Side Story 3. Stellar Blossom - 42

The sun had started to rise, and the house staff was in the middle of their first busy schedule of the day: preparing breakfast, cleaning the house, tending the garden. Inside the ante-library, however, it was very calm and quiet. With a cup of warm tea in front of him, Han Joon sat face-to-face with the Matriarch.

"This is nostalgic," the Matriarch spoke in her usual soft tone, inhaling the delicate scent of her tea before sipping on it.

"...so I did go and see you," Han Joon stared at the steam billowing from the tea.

Ludya flicked her gaze at the man--a young man. The gaze was not yet exhausted of the world, but there was a deep maturity that came from frightening experiences. It was fascinating for her how his proper form changed slightly in each stage of his life.

Han Joon in front of her now had a straight back, but a more relaxed shoulder. His eyes were deep, filled with caution, and while a subtle smile played on his lips, it was nothing but a mask.

"I reckon you gain your memory again," the matriarch said. "You don’t remember seeing me, however, which means..."

"My last memory is deciding to meet you in a week or so," Han Joon told her.

"Ah, so it was when you decided to do everything alone," she nodded.

It was already twenty years ago, but she remembered the moment quite vividly. A young man came to see her, using his father’s name instead of Radia’s, even though the matriarch knew they had intense contact with each other.

Perhaps it was intentional, to make sure Ludya was intrigued enough to allow him a meeting. This boy was just as cunning as her rascal’s grandson, after all. What intrigued her at that time, however, was the gaze Han Joon held.

A deep fear, but not of her. A pair of eyes that had gone through countless nightmares. The gaze was screaming emergency, and yet there was nothing like that in his cheeky request. She only understood it eleven years later, together with everyone who knew.

"So why do you want to see me first?" Ludya asked curiously.

"I just...want to make sure if I go through with it."

Ludya smiled amusedly. Indeed; what a disciplined young man.

"Did I...succeed?" Han Joon asked carefully, cautiously.

"Since you’re here and Radia is here, you should know the answer already."

For the first time since their first meeting, Han Joon let go of his mask--masks, all of them. He leaned forward and buried his face in his hands. "Haa..." a long, relieved sigh escaped the gaps between his fingers. "Thank Gods..."

"Thank you," the Matriarch corrected. "To think you did all that by yourself," she shook her head. "What a madman."

Even to this day, she couldn’t quite believe it. The tenacity that this boy carried, bearing a silent mission on his back. He had saved so many people and the country’s future, and yet no one knew about it. An unsung, unknown Hero.

And yet, the person himself did not care. For him, he did not save those other people on the list, nor did he avenge those who had died. For him, the only thing that mattered was saving Radia.

Hah. Even if this boy crawled from the filth or used to be a monster, Ludya would not mind letting him have her grandson. "I’m glad I keep my promise."

Han Joon raised his head. "Did I ask you to keep Radia free of suitors?"

"What a cheeky boy you were," Ludya shook her head as if in exasperation, although there was a smile on her lips. "But I guess you need that to match that rascal’s pace."

She stared at her tea and suddenly felt how funny everything was. "That being said, it wasn’t like I could tell him to do whatever I said, so there’s actually no need for you to make such a request."

She understood now that this rascal was the reason his grandson shut himself inside the bedroom for a week, having a fever, and always looking on the verge of crying for a month or so. It was a heartbreak, a massive one. Looking back at that reaction alone, she knew Han Joon had already held Radia’s heart closely.

And the boy knew it too.

"I know," Han Joon smiled wryly. "I just want to cover all bases. It’s not like I know how long I’ll..."

He paused and frowned slightly. Things started to piece together in his mind. His father’s death, his illness...was it an aftereffect of that? But his illness was recent, and his father’s death...did not happen as long ago as he wished.

Nervously, he asked the Matriarch. "How long...did I take?"

Ludya smiled and tilted her head slightly. "Why don’t you ask him yourself?"

"Haa..."

Han Joon turned toward the corner, where a barrier was unfolding, and a familiar face greeted him. "Dee...

"I think you need to talk privately," Ludya stood up and patted her armchair, signaling for Radia to sit. "Stay here and have some breakfast. It’s better to talk with a warm stomach."

Radia walked to the chair with a complicated face as the Matriarch left the room. Han Joon had no idea how long Radia had been there, but well...it wasn’t like there was anything to hide. They were sitting in silence while the house staff placed their breakfast on the table, before closing the door and leaving them alone.

The first move Radia did after only staring at the table with an empty gaze was taking a deep breath. "How much did you--"

"I was planning on meeting your Grandmother in a week and then telling you about going to the military at that brunch we held monthly," Han Joon replied matter-of-factly.

"Haa..." Radia chuckled bitterly. "You were already hell-bent on doing it alone no matter what, huh?"

"It was the best course of action I could think of," Han Joon said while pouring a cup of coffee for Radia.

"I know, you bastard," Radia hissed in annoyance, but still took the coffee and gulped half of it all at once. "You already explained it to me."

"You still look pissed."

"I’m just being petty."

Han Joon held back a laugh, suppressing it with a fond smile. "How long did I--"

"Before that," Radia cut him off sharply. "Tell me why you did it that way."

Han Joon, who was in the middle of slathering butter on a warm crumpet, raised his head. "What way?"

"Ah, fuck--" Radia clicked his tongue impatiently after cursing. "Announcing it during our usual get-together with the others, without warning, while smiling--"

Radia paused, seeing the same smile on Han Joon’s face. Yeah, that smile. The smile he would use on strangers as if they hadn’t just said sweet nothings and made many promises to each other a few weeks before.

At that time, he was so angry that he couldn’t see anything beyond that smile. But now, he could see the slight anxiety behind the black eyes. He recalled how dry and flat Joon’s voice was at that time, like someone trying to numb a wound.

"You did it on purpose? So I’ll get angry?" Radia frowned.

"I plan to--ah, I guess I already did. That place was the only place we could be seen together in public," Han Joon placed the crumpet with butter and honey on Radia’s plate. It was the same thing they had during that gathering they had with the kids who were still at the academy. "The more people see us having a bad relationship, the more the system will take me out of calculation."

Radia stared at Joon’s face, who was still busy putting food on his plate. The black eyes were restless, hopeless. He wondered how often Han Joon had that face after finding the death list on his father’s computer.

"...at least, that’s what I learned after studying it through my father’s access," Han Joon shrugged. He only did it for around seven weeks before he decided on the best course of action he could take. "Did it work?"

"...it did," Radia replied quietly.

"I’m glad it wasn’t a waste. Were you...very angry?"

Radia gritted his teeth, but Han Joon could see something else in those eyes: guilt. He thought about it for a few seconds, before his hand reached up to his neck. Immediately, he saw the red eyes twitch.

"Ah..." Han Joon smiled. "Did you make this? I guess you were truly angry."

Radia, feeling pathetic and childish for the bubbling frustration, spoke with stiff lips. "It felt like...you were breaking up with me without telling me why."

"I guess..."

Han Joon smiled bitterly as he saw the pain in the scarlet eyes. It might have happened twenty years ago, and things seemed to be fine at this point--aside from his illness--but still...for them, it was a core memory that couldn’t be erased. Even the pain.

"I’m sorry, Dee."

"Okay."

Radia had heard the word ’sorry’ a lot after reuniting, but he loved hearing it, so he did not tell Joon to stop saying it ever. It was his first heartbreak, and he felt petty about it.

Han Joon leaned back and touched his scar again. "Was Shin there?"

"...yeah."

"Hmm..." Han Joon tapped on the rough line across his neck. If a healer was there, this kind of wound could be healed easily. But Han Joon knew himself enough. "I can guess why I decided to keep it."

"You said...it was your way to bring me with you while you’re in the military."

Han Joon smiled. Guessed he told Radia that much. "And yours? There was no way I retaliated."

Radia bit his lips, for some reason looking rather bashful. "...I asked you to put it on me, after you were done with that personal mission of yours."

Han Joon raised his brows, looking dumbfounded for a few seconds. "Oh, Dee..." he laughed softly; the black eyes curled and sparkled like the corridor of stars. "I was wrong; you did not change."

"Oh, shut up!"

"Dee..." Han Joon laughed again, rolling the name on his lips. "Darling."

Radia leaned back and turned his face away. It was embarrassing to get flustered by someone who was mentally twenty years old. He tried hard not to flinch when Han Joon stood up and crouched in front of him.

"I’m sorry," Han Joon smiled, pressing his forehead on Radia’s knees. "But seeing you in front of me right now, I can’t say I regret what I did."

Radia bit his lips. "What are you doing now?"

"Did you know the kind of nightmares I had after finding out about that system?" Han Joon said in a low voice. "I had to watch you die in multiple ways every night."

Radia widened his eyes. "You...never said that."

"Because it wouldn’t matter anymore if you were safe," Han Joon raised his head, with a face full of smile and relieved gaze.

"You’re stupid!" Radia hissed, grasping the man’s face with a scrunched-up face. "You’re so smart and stupid."

Han Joon laughed, the voice tickling against Radia’s palms. "Even your insult sounds so good in my ears."

"Shut up."

"I don’t want to," Han Joon smirked defiantly.

"You--"

"Dee," Han Joon stood up slowly and placed his hands on the armrests, hovering over the startled Radia. "I’m not a minor anymore."

Oh...

Radia stared at Han Joon in a daze. The implication of that statement was being digested too slowly in his head. However, he gathered his wits just in time before Han Joon’s approaching lips touched him, and covered them.

Frowning impatiently, Han Joon asked with a muffled voice. "What now?"

"...not here."

Han Joon blinked, watching the bright color he loved so much spread across Radia’s face, down to the dryly swallowing neck. The crimson eyes flickered, almost glazed over. The trembling lips, whispering quietly, tempted him to bite the wall of fingers covering his mouth.

"Take me to your room."