There's No Love In the Deathzone (BL)-Chapter 699: Side Story 3. Stellar Blossom - 34

"Haa...when your son gets older, he needs his brothers more than his mother," Laurel sighed and shook her head after watching her son laughing and crying at the same time.

"Oh, now you know the feeling," Ludya smirked behind her cup.

Watching the experienced mothers smiling meaningfully to each other, Zein stroked his chin while looking at his sons. "...do I need to prepare for that too?"

"Go wash your face, sweety," Laurel laughed and stood up, stroking her son’s cheek before going toward the play zone and clapping her hands loudly at the children’s success in building a plushie fortress. "Oh, that’s wonderful!"

"Aca did it!"

"Kal too."

"And Nari cheered for them!" Han Shin laughed and clapped with his daughter’s hands.

"Kyaaaah!"

"Alright! To celebrate, shall we have some snacks?"

Asa gasped. "Keeik!!"

At the mention of snacks, the children’s eyes lit up with sparkles--even Kar--and they left the fortress they had painstakingly made, swarming Laurel. Nari even forgo her still unstable legs and opted to use all of her limbs and crawled, reaching Laurel even faster than the twins.

"Nyomnyom!"

Laurel laughed and pinched the little princess’s nose. "This one is truly Shin’s, huh? So enthusiastic about snacks."

"Gemma, nom nom!"

Laurel gasped. "Oh, my! Did you just call me Grandma?"

"She’s trying to seduce you, Aunt Laurel," Reina giggled, which only made Laurel laugh happily.

"Then I’ll happily fall for this little fairy’s seduction," she squeezed the adorable plump cheeks and was about to hug the little princess when she saw Han Joon standing up. "Oh, where are you going, Joon?"

Han Joon paused for a second before replying in a hurry. "Umm...restroom."

"Hurry up, okay? Or the twins will eat all of your cakes."

"Kal will leave some fol Uncle!" the older twin defended himself, but the younger one bit his forefinger in a dilemma.

"...Aca wanna eat epe’ting."

Laurel laughed and assured them that there would be enough for everyone and Asa to fill his stomach--at least before Zein came and shot a look at his younger son, reminding him that he would still need to eat his dinner or there wouldn’t be any bedtime stories.

While the house staff were pushing in trolleys of cakes and teas inside the sunroom, Han Joon quickly sneaked outside, following a scent he remembered after a few days. A subtle scent of perfume with a fresh and slightly spicy accord he sometimes smelled on Radia, although he didn’t think it was well-suited for the man.

Perhaps it was a scent used by another man, but the thought of it irritated him for some reason.

The disturbing thought distracted him a bit and before he knew it, Han Joon had arrived in front of the restroom. Well, he didn’t lie about it in the end, although he wasn’t meant to use the restroom. But then, he hesitated whether or not he should come, and while he was contemplating restlessly, the door opened and a pair of slightly reddened eyes stared at him.

"Uh...umm..."

"Joon?" Radia held the restroom door. "Do you want to use the toilet?"

"Ah..."

Han Joon opened his mouth and closed it again when his dry throat refused to cooperate. He knew he wasn’t very talkative, but he only had difficulty talking in front of Radia, it seemed. In frustration, he just stood in place while lowering his head, getting angry at himself.

Radia closed the door and tilted his head. "Were you looking for me?" he asked. Han Joon nodded carefully, so Radia asked again. "Do you need something?"

"No, just..."

Once again, Han Joon found it was hard to talk. He used to only respond shortly with yes or no answers, or something that had been predetermined, like answering based on the textbook he read. Speaking out his mind clearly was...hard. Thinking whether or not the other person would understand what he meant was scary.

Radia did not press him, however. There was a couch across the restroom, so he walked over and took a seat there, waiting for Joon.

After fidgeting for a few seconds, Han Joon took a deep breath and finally opened his mouth. "Are you...alright?"

"I am, why do you ask?" Radia tilted his head, and caught something clenched in Joon’s hand. A handkerchief. Radia remembered then, how Joon sometimes glanced in his direction earlier. "Ah, did you see me cry?"

"...yes."

Radia leaned back and chuckled, recalling how silly he had been these days. "Hmm...how embarrassing."

"No," Han Joon interjected quickly. "You said...humans have to cry when they want to."

"Ah, right. I did say something like that," Radia smiled at the memory.

Now that he thought about it, it was a rather inconsiderate thing to say to someone who would get hit when he cried--or showed any emotion. Ironically, that dangerous advice was what made Han Joon unable to forget him, even if Radia would understand if he got hated for it instead.

What a weird kid. Radia wanted to laugh at how silly Han Joon was.

"But...are you sad?" the silly kid asked him with palpable concern. "Are you in pain?"

This too, was something Radia couldn’t see before. Even after becoming an adult and being freed of his father, Han Joon would hide his concerned expression well, putting out a calm face so the other party wouldn’t get panicked.

"...no," Radia sighed. "Actually, it was happy tears."

"Oh, that’s a relief," Han Joon patted his chest, looking genuinely at ease.

Radia smiled; perhaps the first one ever since the smile he gave Joon that morning. "Thank you for worrying about me, Joon."

Han Joon parted his lips, but there was nothing came out but a burst of color on his cheeks. He turned his head away to avoid looking at the smiling face that reminded him of waking up in a bed with Radia. It shouldn’t mean anything, but he always felt embarrassed about it for some reason he could not understand.

Seeing the flustered face he had never encountered in an adult Joon, Radia almost instinctively raised his hand to stroke the reddened cheek, but caught himself in time. He brought his hand down and tucked it inside his pocket, sighing inwardly.

Adorably, in his fluster, Han Joon sat down on the other side of the couch, leaving a one-person gap between them. His clenched fists were on his knees, reminding Radia of the time he found Joon on the corner near the morgue door. That time too, Joon was clenching his fist strongly, perhaps a method of coping he didn’t know he had.

Which means, this time too, he was holding back a strong emotion. "Dee...you don’t hate me, do you?" he asked while hiding his tensed lips in his bowed face.

"Surely not," Radia raised his brows. "What made you think I do?"

"Well...you don’t talk to me as much as the others, and it seems like you were avoiding me..."

Haa...Radia swallowed another sigh. Of course, it would look that way to a child. No, it would probably look that way to an adult too. Even if he just tried to not cross a line he shouldn’t cross yet.

"I have...my reasons," Radia smiled bitterly. It wasn’t like he could tell this kid that he was trying not to pounce on him. "But I’m not avoiding you."

"Then," the already clenched fist curled even harder. "I...I want to talk to you more often."

This world truly wasn’t an easy place.

"Why?" Radia asked with a dry throat.

"It feels...warm," the clenched fist uncurled, and Han Joon touched his chest. "When I talk to you, my heart feels tingly and warm. My mother said it meant I felt happy."

"So you want to talk to me to make yourself happy?"

"...yes," Han Joon nodded after a few seconds of contemplation. "You said I should live freely. Moth--Lady Laurel said people who are happy are free."

Radia chuckled. "You can call her Mother if you want."

Han Joon frowned, seemingly displeased with the idea. "But...she’s your mother."

"So?"

"...I don’t want to be your brother."

Goddamn it! This was hard. This was so fucking hard!

Radia groaned and buried his face in his hands, making Han Joon flinch and look around in panic. When he could hear some muffled cursing, Han Joon leaned down and tilted his head, asking carefully. "Are you...angry?"

"Yes."

Sullenly, Han Joon lowered his head. "I’m sorry..."

"No," Radia raised his head and laughed bitterly. "I’m angry at myself."

"Huh?"

"It’s okay," this time, Radia let himself a sliver of contact; a simple pat on the head. "It’s not your fault. Don’t think about it."

Han Joon instantly brightened at that simple gesture, looking even happier than when he played with the children. Ah...avoiding him was indeed a foolish idea. How could Radia even think of letting this man go without remembering him?

With a scoff, Radia stood up and brought Han Joon back to the sunroom, ignoring the curious eyes of the others and enjoyed watching Asa stuffing his face with as many cakes as he could. It was just like the past, when their family gathered together being all amused at the children. And Han Joon laughed more and more, which was better than everything thrown together.

It was happiness that lasted until night, until Han Joon was assaulted by a high fever that got him trashing around and groaning, as if years of nightmares were catching up to him.