SEX WITH MY BEST FRIEND'S FIANCÉ-Chapter 149

- HAZEL -

‘You’re being very obedient, Hazel. Keep being you and we won’t have a problem.’ I bite my lip as I read the text. How did I get myself into this in the first place?

One would think after a week, this whole charade will be over but it isn’t. Asami still hates me and she’s making it her sole purpose to make my life hell. She’s everywhere. Watching my every move. Monitoring me.

I can’t bathe without panicking. I haven’t had proper sleep for days, I have not had appetite since I nearly fell down the rooftop but she forces me to eat. Threatens me to even. I have to act as if nothing abnormal happened to me and the story of how I got hurt is one she orchestrated.

Heck, I can’t even pee without having to look around me because it feels like someone is watching me. I’ve never felt my sanity go down the drain like it is right now. I’m losing my mind that every minute. . . every second I am screaming on the inside and there’s no one to even run to for aid. There’s no one who can notice me drowning in this situation.

There’s no one I can talk to about it and it is suffocating. I’m too young to be dealing with a psycho hung over ex but here I am clinging onto the last remnants of sanity I have because I’d rather be alive and miserable than be dead without a trace and Asami has made it clear that she would not hesitate to murder my family then come after me if I cross her. She has spelt her evil intentions audibly for me to understand and my part is to submit to her whims.

I release the grip of my teeth on my lower lip the moment the tinge got painful. I’ve been told not to self harm, it’ll be suspicious if I do. The thought of wounding myself to the point where I am hospitalised has crossed my mind several times daily, because at least in a hospital, I can choose who will have access to my room, but I can’t even hurt myself. I let out an exhale.

Acting as if I’m fine when I’m not is the worst thing yet. I am not fine. In all my nineteen years of living, I have never felt so trapped and petrified like I do right now.

Tears.

I look up. Staring back at me is the ceiling. Tears cascade my eyelids but I don’t want it to pour down my face. I’ve been holding in these tears and my sorrow for days. I feel so alone.

There are so many people with me yet I’ve never felt more lonely. I haven’t even gone to Killian’s house since my encounter with Asami because I’m scared. I don’t feel safe anymore, even in the day, and one question has been popping in my mind for so long;

When will this end?

I sniff, flicking a finger underneath my eyes to wipe the tears begging to roll down my cheeks.

Will I return to the same me when this thing is over? Will there ever be an end?

I don’t know.

My lips part to enable me to breathe with my mouth as my crying made my nose blocked. I just want to go back to living. Right now, all I’m doing is surviving. I’m basically existing and it is not fun.

The ends of my lips curl and a chuckle slips out my mouth. That sounded funny for a reason I don’t know. My chuckle became louder. This is the first time I’ve smiled in a while, it feels nice. A bright light, shining from below brings my attention to my bed. It’s my phone.

Ever since I became Asami’s pawn, I put my cellphone on DND and vibrate mode. The excitement that comes with having people check in on me and text has drastically become horrific and uninteresting. I barely interact with anyone now. It’s safer that way. I remember almost slipping up what has been happening to me to Savory and before I could take a breather, there was a knock on our room door.

It was Asami. She came in looking all innocent and sweet, like the girl I thought I knew. Of course my roomies didn’t suspect a thing, but I knew the venom behind that smile of hers was a warning to me. She stayed in late that night and I couldn’t sleep when she was here. I was afraid someone would hold a knife to my face or choke me to death in my sleep. That was just her way of alerting me that she knows what I’m doing whenever I do it and it’s actually creepy. My other hand reaches up to my face, just to rest on my lips. I didn’t know when I stopped smiling. Frowning without a cause has become a subconscious habit these days.

I lower my eyes to my phone, picking it up from my bed. The name blaring from the screen on the notification warms my heart. It’s Killian.

He’s the only one I haven’t given the silent treatment to.

‘How is my little angel doing this fine morning?’ I smile at the message.

‘Not so good, not so bad, you promised you’ll be gone for a week. It’s nearly two weeks now.’ I text.

‘I miss you, Killian.’ I text again. Really, I do. Getting through my daily life has been difficult. At least Killian would be able to read me if he was here. I may not be able to give him any information but he’d know how to cheer me up. He always does.

‘Ah, shit.’

Huh? I read his message with awe. He’s typing so I’m waiting eagerly yet patiently.

‘I was going to keep this a secret till I actually got there but,’ my eyes widens as I read. An image drops in the chat later and I load it. In his hand is a ticket. I pinch my screen then pull my fingers apart to zoom so I read what’s printed on the ticket. He’s here.

I nearly choke on my breath. He’s been here for over an hour. Oh my days!!

I feel my heart race in my chest.

I’m happy. Not forcibly but genuinely. This is the first hint of happiness I’ve felt since I was stabbed in the hand. As ironic as that sounds, it’s true.

‘I’ll be with you shortly, kitten. Sorry for keeping you waiting for long.’

The wait was worth it! I feel like shit but he just made my morning less shitty. I almost want to tell him to wait at the airport so I come and meet him but I don’t even know if he’s at the airport. Yes, the arrival time on his ticket shows that his plane landed long ago, but whether he’s at the check out or not is something he hasn’t specified.

I FEEL SO GIDDY!

I clear my throat and straighten my poise on my bed. What would be the most Hazel thing to respond to his message? Hmmm, I try to think.

I don’t know. I’ve not been Hazel for five whole days! She It seems like it’s been forever.

‘I..’ I say out loud as I type. ‘will only anticipate your arrival if you come with treats.’ I send the text without reviewing my response.

‘If I didn’t bring a souvenir and meal packet for my baby, then it wouldn’t be me.’ Killian responds. The lip stick kiss emoji drops after his text. ‘This is the first and last time I’d use this godforsaken emoji so don’t get used to it.’

I chuckle under my breath. It’s cute watching him be me text wise. I can tell how much he hates emoticons and emojis yet adjusts to them because I love using them a lot.

‘I can live with that.’ The wink emoticon is attached to the end of my text. ‘I’ll see you soon.’ I text after.

‘I love you.’ I let my gaze fall on his text. I shut my eyes tight and slowly bring my eyelids apart, ready to respond.

‘I love you, Killian.’ I respond to him then drop my phone on my bed.

And it is because of this love that I have to keep my mouth shut. Just so you’d survive. So permit me this once not to be brutally honest with you.