My Milf System-Chapter 136. Eat, Flirt, Fail, Repeat

"Girls love guys who are gentle and caring!!!"

"No, they don’t! They’re more attracted to morons! Guys who are rough and unfaithful!!!"

"Huh!? Which girl in their right mind would love a rascal like that!?"

"Every girl loves rascals!!! I don’t know why, but they do!!!"

I groaned from my sleep. It was clear I wasn’t about to get any with Adrian and Derrick arguing like this.

I’d been dozing off ever since I got back home early in the morning from Elvarion. I only managed to sleep for an hour before I had to wake up for school. Honestly, during all the lessons, I was just nodding off. I couldn’t even catch a whiff of what Madam Sarah was teaching.

Now it was lunchtime, and Operation Seduction was in full action—but the boys were too busy arguing about how to get the girls’ attention. So far, none of them had managed to invite a single girl to this mixer thing.

"Would you guys keep it down? I’m trying to sleep here!"

"NOOO!!" Four Eyes and Derrick yelled at the same time, glaring at me like I’d told them to give up their freedom.

We were seated in the cafeteria—Kira beside me, Brian across from me, with Adrian and Derrick opposite each other.

Surprisingly, every time I dozed off a little, I’d wake up with my food halved. And out of all of us, only one person kept chewing—Brian. Mr. Munch himself.

"Bro, aren’t you stealing a little too much from my plate?" I groaned at him.

He put on that innocent face and glanced at me. "Dude... give me a break. Of all people here, why’d you suspect me of stealing your food?"

"It’s pretty obvious, dude. I mean... who else here eats like you?"

"That’s kinda offensive." His eyes shifted to his left before they widened. "Holy shit!!!"

I followed his gaze and saw a girl sitting at a corner table with a mountain of bread rolls and a bowl of stew bigger than her head. Brian’s eyes lit up like he’d seen the goddess of gluttony herself. Without hesitation, he sprang to his feet and approached her.

I leaned forward a bit, curious to see what happens when a boy who loves food meets a girl who devours it just as much.

"Oh no. If those two get along, they’ll eat us one day," I heard Adrian mutter.

"Who’s she?" Kira asked.

"Don’t know her name. But I think she’s from another class. A second-year student. I always see her around eating lots of food." Adrian replied.

"What the hell," Derrick muttered. "She just dipped her bread in soup and used it to scoop mashed potatoes."

We watched as Brian casually plopped himself down across from her like he’d been invited. She paused mid-bite, chewing slowly as she sized him up.

"Hey," he said with a grin. "You eat like a warrior. I respect that."

She raised a brow. "You... watching me eat?"

He nodded. "For research. You’ve got a great body, too."

She was kinda chubby, about 5’1", with short black hair and soft, round cheeks.

I thought that line would get him slapped. But instead—she laughed.

"Mind if I sit with you?" Brian asked, pulling a cookie from his pocket. "I’ve brought a cookie as tribute."

She narrowed her eyes. "Depends. Is it raisin?"

He held it up. "Chocolate chip. I wouldn’t disrespect you like that."

She cracked a smile, and he sat down.

"You know," he began, "I’ve seen people eat, but you—you feast. That gravy-bread-potato combo? That was bold. Daring. Deliciously dangerous." He winked.

The girl blinked, confused. "Are you... flirting with me using food?"

"I don’t flirt," he said smoothly. "I marinate."

She chuckled, shaking her head.

"You’re funny. Name’s Mira. You?"

"I’m Brian. But you can call me baby. I don’t mind."

"Like hell I’ll ever call a man that!" she shot back, munching more food.

Brian stayed quiet for a moment, watching her eat before asking,

"You ever tasted love, Mira?"

She raised a brow. "No?"

He smirked. "It’s a little like butter melting on fresh bread. Warm. Messy. Probably bad for your heart, but so worth it."

She laughed again, and he leaned in just a little.

"My bros and I are throwing a mixer this weekend," he said. "Games, drama, regret—but most importantly... snacks. Biscuits. Roasted stuff. Food you’d dream of."

Her eyes sparkled. "All kinds?"

"All kinds. Crispy tops, gooey insides. Just like I imagine your soul."

Brian stood up like he’d just ascended to Food God status.

"See you there," he said, tossing her the cookie. She caught it.

We watched him walk back to us, hands in his pockets, bounce in his step.

"No way," Kira muttered. "He did it?"

"She said yes," Brian said proudly, clenching his fist in victory.

Then he sat down and exhaled. "See how it’s done, boys? No cringe rizzes, no stuttering! Just smoothness!"

Adrian turned to Derrick. "Told you. Girls like bold rascals, not stiff gentlemen."

Derrick scoffed. "That wasn’t rascal behavior!"

"You think telling her ’she eats like a warrior’ was gentleman-like? That was totally rascal behavior!" Adrian snapped.

"It was in between, you fool!" Derrick shot back. Then he sighed, adjusted his tunic, and fluffed his already-fluffed hair. "Alright. Watch and learn how a gentleman handles such situations."

He stood up, scanned the cafeteria for someone clearly in his league—probably a 5 or lower—and when he found her, he made his move.

Like idiots, we followed with our trays to sit nearby. He shot us a glare but proceeded anyway, leaning against the wall like he was trying to look cool before speaking.

If I remembered correctly, the name of the girl he approached was Natalie. I’d seen her talking to Anna before. She didn’t seem like a bad person. While everyone ignored or ridiculed Anna, she never really did any of that. Maybe Derrick had a shot. He was a C-rank, after all.

"Hey," Derrick greeted.

She looked up. "Derrick, right?"

Wow. She knew his name. That was already a win.

"That’s me," he said, flashing way too many teeth. "Didn’t get to say it yesterday, but during sports—you were moving like lightning out there. Very agile. Like a graceful mountain goat."

.....Wait. What!? I slapped my own forehead.

Natalie tilted her head. "A mountain goat?"

"Yeah, I mean, no—like a cat! Or a fox! Something cool! Not a goat. Unless you like goats. Goats are fine. I have nothing against goats."

Some gentleman he is! That was even cringier than Adrian’s pickup lines!

Natalie stayed silent, clearly unsure how to react to the nonsense she just heard. Derrick cleared his throat and straightened up like the self-proclaimed gentleman he believed he was.

"Anyway... there’s gonna be a mixer this weekend. There will be music, food, and dancing. You should, uh, come. It might be fun."

She gave a small smile. "Maybe. Depends on the company. Who’ll be there?"

He shot us a glance, then looked back at her.

"Them!" he nodded. Her face instantly twisted into a frown.

Yup. Chances this mixer would be a complete failure, or be filled with only dudes are extremely high!

TBC