Maybe a Fake Gintama-Chapter 599: The Last Stretch is Always the Hardest!

"Cheers to another year of hard work!" ×3

The three members of the Odd Jobs trio clinked their glasses together, seated at a table.

Bam!!

Before Gintoki could take a sip of his beer, Kawaki kicked him, sending him flying. With veins popping on his forehead, Kawaki squinted his eyes, forcing a smile that didn't reach his eyes. "What do you mean 'hard work'?! Why is your year-end party crashing into Yoshiwara's year-end party? Why does it feel like this is your Odd Jobs party? And why the hell did you start drinking on your own?! I'll seriously kill you, you silver-haired perm!"

"Does it really matter?" Gintoki got up, rubbing his backside nonchalantly. "It's a year-end party, and more importantly..."

Gintoki's expression suddenly turned serious as he clenched his fist. "The Odd Jobs trio is a trinity! Even during a year-end party, we can't be separated! Right, Kagura-chan, who was invited to this party by her dumb uncle?"

"Like hell!" Kawaki shouted, delivering another kick that slammed Gintoki's head into the floor. "You just wanted to freeload, didn't you? Seeing your disgusting face on the last day of the year is a real downer. Shinpachi-kun, do me a favor and send this perm-head to the post office. Mail him to hell along with the New Year's cards."

"W-Wait..." Gintoki pulled his bleeding forehead out of the floor, weakly wiping the blood that wouldn't stop. "We're here for the sake of this series and for you, Kawaki!"

Kawaki simply glared at Gintoki with disdain, his eyes half-closed.

"Even though it's the last day of the year, and even though it's a year-end party, we can't afford to let our guard down!" Gintoki continued seriously, crossing his arms and closing his eyes as he spoke. "You should understand the saying, 'The last stretch is always the hardest.' This series has struggled to survive until now, and if we screw up and create a scandal during the year-end party, the series will be finished! We're down to the final steps, and those steps must be taken more cautiously than ever!"

(Note: The phrase "行百里者半九十" is derived from "Strategies of the Warring States," meaning that if you walk a hundred miles, walking the first ninety is only half the journey. It implies that the closer you get to success, the more cautious you must be.)

"So..." Kawaki stared at Gintoki with contempt. "What does that have to do with you crashing Yoshiwara's year-end party?"

"I'm here to keep an eye on you, to make sure you don't cause any big trouble at the party!" Gintoki lied with a straight face.

Kagura couldn't help but praise him, "As expected of Gin-chan, staying so calm even at a year-end party."

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Shinpachi adjusted his glasses and nodded, then kindly addressed Kawaki, "Gin-san does have a point, Kawaki-san. After all, we've already had several things censored, and we've even had single Chapters banned. It took a lot of changes to get them approved again."

"In any case, moving forward..." Gintoki pulled out an old tape recorder and placed it on the table, "Let's listen to some cool tunes from this tape recorder and have a cool year-end party!"

With that, Gintoki inserted the tape and pressed play.

"Do you think I'm you?" Kawaki retorted with disdain. "It's just a little bit of alcohol; I won't get drunk."

"But... there's a limit, isn't there?" Gintoki glanced at Kawaki.

Kawaki was suddenly startled, his expression becoming slightly more serious as he rubbed his chin. "You're right... If it were any other drink, I might lose consciousness after drinking it..."

"That's why... my presence is even more necessary, Kawaki!" Gintoki shouted earnestly. "I'm here with the sincere intention of protecting this series! I swear it's not because I wanted screen time, more appearances, or free drinks! Believe me!"

"Gintoki..." Kawaki looked touched for a moment, but then, "Who the hell would believe that?! What was that last line about? Are you complaining about not getting enough screen time or appearances?!"

No sooner had Kawaki finished speaking than the sound of hurried footsteps echoed from outside the door.

Clatter!

The door slid open, and a group of Hyakka women, each holding two bottles of alcohol, burst in with excitement.

"Kawaki-sama!" ×n

As the Hyakka women quickly surrounded Kawaki with excited faces, their intentions clearly written in their eyes, Gintoki spoke up with a blank expression, "See, I told you you'd need me."

Seeing the excited smiles on the women's faces, but also catching glimpses of their true intentions—"Get Kawaki-sama drunk and then xxxxxxx"—Kawaki remained silent for a long moment before nodding quietly.

"A year-end party, huh..." Tsukuyo murmured as she stood at the door, holding a bottle of sake.

"Tsukuyo, are you going to drink, too?" Hinowa, sitting beside her in a wheelchair, smiled up at Tsukuyo.

"Well... it is a year-end party," Tsukuyo replied, glancing at the bottle in her arms, uncertain. "Maybe I could drink a little..."

Hinowa just smiled with her eyes, but her actions spoke louder as she quickly turned her wheelchair around, leaving behind a quick "I'll go prepare some snacks!" before practically fleeing the scene.

"Here, let me pour for you," Gintoki said, grabbing a bottle of sake and pouring it into an ashtray on the table.

"Hey! Stop with the dangerous jokes!" Shinpachi shouted, veins popping. "Are you already drunk?! Didn't we agree not to overindulge?"

"It's fine," Gintoki replied casually, pouring more sake for Kawaki and then filling his glass with beer. "It's just a little drink; it won't be enough to make me do something stupid."

"Well, I guess that's fine, seeing as it's only once a year." Kawaki chuckled, shaking his head as he raised his glass. "Then... the 'Maybe Fake Gintama' cast's year-end party is officially underway!"

"What? You've already started drinking? You're so heartless," Otose, who had just arrived at the door, grumbled as she looked at Kawaki and Gintoki, who were already happily drinking and laughing together.

"Why does it feel like this year-end party is filled with people just trying to get screen time? Even characters the readers have almost forgotten are showing up..." Kawaki put down his glass, looking exasperated as he saw Otae, Kyuubei, Hasegawa, Otose, Tama, and Catherine standing at the door.

"Hey, you worthless NEET," Otae squinted her eyes, tilting her head slightly with an unnervingly sweet smile. "Who are you calling a forgotten character?"

"Who... are you?" Kawaki asked with a confused expression.

Boom!!

"Long time no see, Kawaki-sama, Tsukuyo-sama." Tama greeted them politely, bowing as Kawaki was sent crashing into the wall by Otae's punch.

"Hmm." Tsukuyo glanced at Tama and nodded slightly.

"Oh... it's Tama," came Kawaki's weak voice. "Could you help me out of the wall..."

"Yes, sir." Tama grabbed Kawaki's arm and pulled him out of the wall.

"Yoshiwara isn't all that, is it?" Catherine struck a seductive pose. "The courtesans I saw on the way here are nothing compared to me, the top hostess at Otose's bar, nya~."

"Tama, please get rid of this creature that looks like vomit," Kawaki said, squinting his eyes and smiling. "Her presence ruins the taste of the alcohol, and it's making me... Σ_(」∠)ugh..."

Seeing Kawaki holding the wall and vomiting, Catherine turned pale and shouted, "Hey! Enough already!"

...

Half an hour later, Shinpachi glanced at Kawaki, who was being surrounded by Hyakka women and forced to drink one cup after another, then at Gintoki, who was clearly drunk and arm-in-arm with Hasegawa, and said with a blank expression, "Is this really okay? Kawaki-san and Gin-san..."

"It's just once a year; let them enjoy themselves," Kagura mumbled through a mouthful of food as she devoured the dishes on the table at an alarming speed.

"Yeah, just once a year..." Tsukuyo's eyes flashed with a hint of hesitation as she looked at the bottles of alcohol on the table.

"True, as long as nothing goes wrong," Shinpachi agreed with a nod but then noticed something—Tsukuyo's hand was unconsciously reaching for one of the bottles. "Tsukuyo...san?"

"Ah! It's nothing!" Tsukuyo quickly withdrew her hand. "I won't drink! Don't worry!"

"But there are just too many people in this room who turn dangerous when drunk..." Shinpachi muttered quietly.

...

The following day, Kawaki, drooling in his sleep, slowly opened his eyes. He quickly shut them again, groaning as he sat up, clutching his head.

"Ow, ow, ow..." He rubbed his temples, slowly opening his eyes again. As he took in the room's layout, which looked like a hotel room, he made a confused sound and tried to recall the previous night. "Where is this? Last night... I think someone handed me a different drink... I can't remember anything else..."

As he spoke, Kawaki suddenly sensed an unpleasant presence beside him. His eye twitched, his face darkening as he slowly turned his head.

At the same time, Gintoki, who had also just woken up and sat up, feeling something off beside him, turned his head with the same expression.

When their eyes met,

The air... froze.