Mated to Four Alphas-Chapter 289: Flashback - 29

Meyer’s POV

He directly sat on my lap while wrapping both his hands around my neck. We were facing each other. He was so close to me. On my thighs, I could feel him. His hands were warm on my neck. The grip he was holding with his tiny hands, his nervous face—even though he was still—was pretending he was fine.

I don’t know about him, but my heart was pounding crazily. Because this is not a joke, to get close like this to Orian.

"Orian, you shouldn’t sit on me like this. This is wrong." As I said that, I was about to push him. Just then I saw his gloomy face, and after seeing that, I was unable to push him away from me. My hands automatically gripped his waist.

"Why are you saying this is wrong? Don’t you love me? I love you so much." He suddenly leaned forward at me and hugged me. His chest was pressing against mine. He had rested his head on my shoulder and was hugging me tightly. I also couldn’t stop myself. My hand wrapped around his back and I hugged him tightly too.

Now that we are hugging, I can feel his heart beating. It’s fast, just like mine. He is more nervous than me. But now that we are hugging like this, I feel like not letting him go at all and hugging him all my life like this.

This orange scent is indeed delicious. One of my hands was on the back of his head, petting him, and the other one was rubbing his back. His panting sound was reaching my ears as every breath touched my skin.

I know in my heart that this is all wrong. But my mind is not ready to accept it. It is doing what it wants. My hands are moving on their own. And I don’t want to let go of this moment at all.

And suddenly, he nuzzled his face on my shoulder. As he did, it gave me shivers. All over my body, I was getting goosebumps.

His body is indeed so small. In my arms, he fits very nicely, which is great. Holding such a tiny body—he looks so delicate. Like, if I use my strength a little too much, I fear I could break him. Which is something I don’t want.

But the alpha inside me is telling me to bite his neck, which looks so beautiful and is giving off that scent. I just want to make this omega mine at any cost, but I can’t do that.

"Meyer, your heart is beating very fast," Orian said in his low and soft voice, just like a beautiful song ringing in my ears.

I broke the hug, but didn’t let go of his waist. Both his palms were on my shoulders, near my neck, and he was looking into my eyes. This eye contact, I’m not gonna forget. Especially those ocean blue eyes, which are printed into my heart. Like, they are the ocean in which I want to drown myself fully without any second thought.

"Why are you looking at me like this? It’s making me embarrassed," he said while looking away. But I didn’t want to break the eye contact. That’s why with one hand, I touched his chin and turned his face to me so I could see those eyes. And this most beautiful face, which was turning red just from my gaze.

"Orian, why do you love me so much? I don’t have anything—nor money, nor am I a great person who did something special in my life. You will regret being with me. I won’t be able to give you a good life."

He smiled. "I don’t want a good life. I want a life with you, which is gonna be good on its own. And it doesn’t matter if you are rich or not. In my heart, you are the person whom I love the most. That’s why I’m not going to regret loving you at all."

My heart feels heavy. I don’t know why. I think it’s because of his words. Whatever he said, it mattered to me. Even now, when he said that he’s not gonna regret loving me, I feel like a loser. I can’t do anything in my life.

"No one is gonna accept our relationship. Especially His Majesty. He would be so disappointed. Because every father wants their child to have a good life. Do you think His Majesty would allow his adorable son to live with a poor guy who can’t even provide three meals a day?"

"It doesn’t matter to me. Meyer, I only want to be with you." His hands, which were on my shoulders, slowly moved to my face and he rubbed them on my cheeks—to make me understand that his love is more than enough.

"But Orian, it does matter to me. I also don’t want you to sacrifice everything for me. Please, Orian. You know, even if you get married to another alpha and have kids who look like you, I will be just happy to see that you are at least happy and living a good life."

His eyes became teary hearing me. With both hands, he cupped my face. I knew he was sad, but I was even sadder to tell him to make this decision. This is very hard for me too. Seeing the omega I love marrying another alpha and being with him for the rest of his life—just thinking about it is breaking me inside. But I will have to accept this so that he can be happy. And I will live my whole life on his memory, because for me, he is the only one.

But Orian can’t do that. I can’t be his only one. I am not worthy of Orian at all. He deserves someone better than me—someone who will be able to make Orian happy. When I looked up into his eyes, his tears started to stream down his cheeks, and he started smacking my chest.

"You are baddie... hic... Baddie... You are very baddie. How can you say that?"