I'm Not Your Husband, You Evil Dragon!-Chapter 26: "Silence After Laughter

She didn't answer. I think she was already imagining one.

Once inside, the girls stopped dead in their tracks.

The mall was huge. Bright lights hung down in long, glowing strands. The ceiling stretched up like it didn't have an end. Shops lined both sides like they were showing off. Some had mannequins in glittery clothes, others had food on open trays. A giant fountain splashed gently in the center, and there were actual trees growing from square patches in the tile. Not fake ones. Real leaves. Real dirt.

Elena spun around. "This place is HUGE! There's so many places to go! Papa, can we live here?!"

I smiled. "Let's not get evicted on day one, okay?"

We strolled toward the escalator, and I stepped on first, gliding up like a mall veteran.

"Alright, come on! Just step on, it's not rocket science!"

Elena blinked at the moving steps, jaw dropping. "Papa... it's a magic stair?!"

Before I could correct her, she hopped on like it was her personal rollercoaster. "Mama! Mama! Look! I'm moving but my feet are lazy!"

Behind her, Erza stood like she was about to duel the escalator.

I turned back, grinning. "Don't tell me you're scared."

Her arms folded. "I'm not scared. I'm... cautious. It looks like a mechanical trap."

"It's not a trap," I said, stifling a laugh. "It's called technology. Welcome to the future, Queen of Drama."

"Step off and show me first," she demanded.

"I am on it."

She glared at the steps, then at me. "What if it swallows me? What if it malfunctions?"

"Oh please," I chuckled. "If it swallows you, I'll have the honor of writing your legendary fall: Erza, the mighty warrior, defeated by mall escalator."

She stepped on.

For half a second, she looked fine.

Then—bam—she gripped the rail like it was a lifeline, eyes wide like she'd just entered a death trap.

"You jerk!" she snapped.

Before I could blink—

WHACK!

A fist collided with the back of my head.

"OW! Seriously?! What was that for?!"

"For teasing me, mortal!"

"We're in public!"

"Then stop talking."

Meanwhile, Elena was already at the top, cheering like she'd just climbed a mountain.

The moment we stepped off the escalator, Elena pointed straight ahead.

"Papa! Look! School stuff! Many-many bags!"

She took off running, arms flapping like a baby penguin on a mission.

I pushed the cart slowly behind her, already bracing for chaos.

We entered the school section, and boom—it was like stepping into a rainbow exploded. Shelves packed with school bags, tiny chairs, crayons, notebooks, animal-shaped water bottles, and things I didn't even know existed.

Elena stopped in front of a wall of backpacks.

She gasped, eyes huge.

"This one is pink! Ooooh—this one has ears! Papa look! This bag is panda! It's talking to me!"

"It's not talking, Elena. It just has googly eyes."

She hugged it. "It say 'Take me home!' Papa please, bag is sad!"

That's how she won.

I dropped the panda bag in the cart.

Erza walked over with a plain red backpack in her hands. No cartoons. No sparkles. Just... red.

"This one is simple. I'll take this."

Elena peeked at it, then squinted. "It's boring. No eyes. No tail."

"It doesn't need a tail," Erza replied, calmly.

"But... how it will walk?!"

"Erza, please... she's just a child. Let's just get her what she likes."

Erza: "Ugh, then don't tell me later.. I didn't tell you.!

Next up—the crayon aisle.

Elena stood completely still, staring at the colorful wall like she was staring at a treasure cave.

"Papa... so many colors..."

She pointed to a giant box.

"I want this one. Big-big one. It has... it has rainbow. And that funny yellow."

"You mean yellow ochre?"

"Yes. Funny yellow."

"Don't you just need red and blue?"

She looked shocked. "Nooo! That's boring, Papa. This has lellow, and grink, and sparkly purple!"

"That's glitter glue."

"I love glue!"

Erza held up a tiny pack of six colors. "This is fine."

Elena blinked. "Only six? That's baby box."

"You are a baby," Erza said flatly.

"I'm big!" Elena puffed her cheeks. "I go potty now."

"...Okay, okay," I interrupted. "Let's just pick one and survive this."

We grabbed the 24-pack compromise. Not too many. Not too few. Enough to avoid a crayon war.

Then came the pencils. Notebooks. A cat-shaped lunchbox. Erza got fascinated by a stapler and accidentally stapled her own receipt. Elena tried to wear a pencil case as a hat. I gave up arguing with logic at this point.

At checkout, our cart looked like we were opening our own kindergarten.

Elena sat inside the cart now, holding her panda bag, humming.

"I like shop time, Papa."

"Yeah?"

"Yes. I buy bag. Bag is soft. And panda says thank you."

I smiled. "You're welcome, Panda."

Erza mumbled beside me, staring at the receipt total. "Human shopping is dangerous."

I nodded. "Tell me about it."

I was finally at the checkout counter, trying to ignore the total blinking on the screen like a flashing red warning.

The cashier scanned the panda bag.

Beep.

The crayons.

Beep.

The lunchbox that meowed when opened.

Beep.

And then came the receipt. It kept printing. And printing. I swear I aged three years just standing there.

I took a deep breath, reached into my wallet... and that's when Erza leaned closer and asked, "Mortal... what's happening over there?"

She pointed toward a growing crowd near the women's clothing section. People were practically diving into racks of dresses like it was a survival game.

"Oh, that?" I said. "That's a 75% discount on women's dresses."

She blinked. "What is... this discount?"

I turned to her, already sensing danger.

"It's... okay, imagine you have $100," I explained patiently. "Now, if there's a 75% discount, it means you only pay $25 for that thing. So the rest is—"

Before I could finish, I realized something was off.

"...Erza?"

She was gone.

I turned around—just in time to see her running full speed toward the sale section.

She didn't even walk. She sprinted. Arms pumping. Hair flying. Like it was a battlefield and she heard victory calling.

"Wait—Erza?! You said you don't even understand discounts!"

But she was already deep into the dress racks, holding two outfits in one hand and inspecting a third.

I shook my head, stunned. "She's a queen... but not even royalty can resist the power of the Discount King."

Back at the cart, Elena was chewing on a receipt like it was gum.

I gently took it away. "No, sweetheart. That's not candy."

She looked up and giggled. "Where Mama go?"

"She's not your mama right now—she's... well, monster hunter, hunting dress ."

At that moment, Erza popped her head from behind the clothing rack and shouted, "Mortal! Wait for me outside. I will return shortly!"

"Take your time," I muttered, already half-dead from budget trauma.

So there I was—standing outside the store, holding bags, a panda backpack, and a cat lunchbox... while Elena wore sunglasses too big for her face and sang a song about cheese.

And that's how I knew:

This wasn't a shopping trip anymore.

I was sitting on a bench outside the shop, surrounded by shopping bags, a cat lunchbox, and my slowly dying will to live.

Elena was standing in front of me, munching on a cookie the size of her face.

"Papa," she said, pointing with her cookie. "Frog!"

"Huh?"

I looked up and saw what she meant—one of those store mascots. A giant, bright green frog costume waddling around, handing out balloons to kids.

"FROGGY!!" Elena squealed and took off running.

"Wait—Elena!"

I stood up too fast, dropping a shopping bag, and by the time I looked ahead—

She was gone.

No little footsteps.

No panda backpack bobbing up and down.

Nothing.

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"Elena?!"

My voice cracked.

I rushed forward, weaving through people, eyes darting everywhere. She couldn't have gone far. Right?

"Elena?! Where are you?!"

Panic hit me hard. My heartbeat wasn't in my chest anymore—it was in my throat. My palms were sweaty. I scanned every corner, every kiosk.

"Elena!!"

To be continue....

[End of Chapter]

Yo, Yuuta here!

Guess what? We hit 200 Chapters—and yeah, I did promise you a little something, didn't I?

So, to all my loyal readers (and even the nosy ones lurking around), I've dropped TWO bonus Chapters just for you.

One for your morning tea time—because who doesn't love chaos with a side of toast?

And one for your evening coffee—because dragons and drama hit different at sunset.

Go ahead, dive in, laugh a little, cry if you must—just don't forget to leave a comment or two so I know you're alive!

Enjoy, legends. You made this possible.