I'm an Infinite Regressor, But I've Got Stories to Tell-Chapter 322

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◈ I’m an Infinite Regressor, But I’ve Got Stories to Tell

Chapter 322

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The Skeptic XV

It was an undeniable truth that Yu Ji-won had very few friends.

I confirmed it by slipping into her school to observe her day-to-day campus life.

“Hey! Ji-won, hi!”

“Pardon me, but who are you?”

“Huh? Uh... I-I’m Eun-seo. Hwang Eun-seo. Remember? I asked if you wanted to be friends. Don’t you remember?”

“Ah, my apologies. You used to use a completely different lotion than the one you’re wearing now, so I was mistaken.”

“Hey, oh my god! Ji-won, I heard the student council president confessed to you yesterday!”

“Ah. So he’s the student council president?”

“Ugh... Obviously! He’s the best-looking senior in our school!”

“Hmm. I had no idea. There are at least six students here who use the same sunscreen, as far as I know.”

It was an utterly devastating case of prosopagnosia.

If that were her only difficulty, her relationships might still have been manageable, but Ji-won paired it with an expression more frigid than ice 24/7.

And that wasn’t the only issue. Her brain had very little space for words like “empathy,” “sadness,” or “understanding.” Even if she heard someone’s family member had died, her first reaction would be, “Oh, the funeral costs and procedures must be quite a burden.”

How is that a recipe for making friends?

At first, classmates were drawn to her stunning beauty, almost like they were enchanted, but they all gave up within a month. Rumors filled the gap they left behind.

“Her mom’s in that weird cult...”

“Seriously? That place is really dangerous.”

“We live in the same neighborhood, and her dad is always shouting in that back alley. I checked one time, he was cussing out her grandma. He was swearing at his own mother!”

“Wait, you mean Ji-won cussed out her mom?”

“Huh? No, no, her dad was cussing out his mom, Ji-won’s grandmother.”

So Ji-won quickly became an outcast. She wasn’t exactly bullied—she was simply isolated. After all, she was already working as a professional model, her athletic abilities were top-notch, and she never dropped below first place in academics. To the other kids, she was anything but normal. Sometimes there were hushed whispers about her, but they were like small waves between islands that never actually made landfall on “the uninhabited island” called Yu Ji-won.

And so we arrive at the conclusion.

In front of Shinseo Middle School’s gate, Yu Ji-won stood waiting alone for someone, the school’s desert-like dirt field stretching into the distance behind her. She was waiting for her driver—the one who’d take her to her job. In other words, me.

‘One of two things has to happen. Either the world adapts to her ways, or she adapts to the world’s ways.’

In the original future, it was the latter. Ji-won learned how to camouflage herself in society when the apocalypse and the emergence of Awakeners actually provided an opportunity for her. Once her sense of smell sharpened to an extreme degree, she could finally rely on scent alone to distinguish people.

‘...What would the younger version of me, my “past self,” have thought about her?’

He wouldn’t have been clueless.

A few years from now, I’d be scouted as a dedicated tutor for Cheon Yo-hwa’s household in Sejong City, which meant I was a clever, quick-witted young adult. Surely I would have noticed Yu Ji-won’s true nature.

An adolescent exposed to domestic violence. A girl who basically earned all the household’s income in place of her neglectful parents, caring for her grandmother with dementia...

And yet, once I actually got involved, I’d realize she wasn’t the tired, one-note depiction of some “pitiful” victim.

In a sense, Yu Ji-won was ungrateful. No matter how kindly someone tried to help her, it wasn’t in her nature to “feel gratitude.” She simply “calculated” the amount of the help she received, then she decided whether to repay it in kind or wash her hands of it, whichever presented a smaller risk.

‘Would the younger me have kept helping her after discovering her true nature, or given up in disappointment?’

I don’t know, but right now, within this illusion that Cheon Yo-hwa had woven to lock in the past, it was my choice that dictates the answer, not my past self’s.

“Hey.”

Ji-won was reading a book near the school gate. She peered at me over the cover.

We were five meters apart. That distance was too far for a normal Ji-won to catch a person’s body scent.

“I’m sorry, but do I know you?”

“C’mon, it’s Mr. Matiz! Heeey.”

“Ah.”

She snapped her book shut. The title was Henle Latin First Year, printed on a lavender cover.

Reading an introductory Latin text, in English no less, at the school gate... And she wondered why she had no friends? Ji-won!

“My apologies, I didn’t recognize you,” she said. “But that boring tone of voice is definitely familiar.”

“Enough. Come a little closer, will you?”

“All right...?”

She approached me without complaint.

In her mind, Mr. Matiz drove her wherever she needed to go, so it was only natural to comply if I asked her to walk a few meters. That was probably all there was to it.

“Hm?” She stopped short when she reached me, tilting her head. “Mr. Matiz.”

“What?”

“Did you put on perfume today?”

I smiled. “No, this is actually my natural scent.”

That was a lie.

Over the past few days, I’d gone around different shops to buy seven perfumes that might fit a budget-conscious young professional in his twenties. The cheapest one cost me 30,000 won and the most expensive one 300,000 won.[1] I then disassembled them and blended them in various ratios.

“It was tricky, but—”

I happened to have some fragrance knowledge and skills.

When you live thousands of years, you pick up all sorts of random expertise. Perfumery was one of them. Ironically enough, perfumers boomed in post-apocalyptic Busan.

Why people in a ruined world were so passionate about perfumes is a story for another time.

“Is that so?”

For now, I had to focus on convincing this middle-school psycho kid in front of me.

“I don’t recall ever smelling this on you. Must be because you usually use weird body wash. So you switched to a gentler product, right? And that’s your actual body odor?”

“Mhm.”

She took hold of my right arm. The bit of physical contact was abrupt but nothing worth reading too deeply into. This kid simply wasn’t socialized. She was only verifying whether my claim was true or false by sniffing me more directly.

“Please bend down a bit.”

She brought her nose to the back of my hand. It was less “sniff” and more “hnff.” A short, quiet sound. Then from my hand to my wrist, forearm, elbow, up my sleeve. She kept sniffing for about thirty seconds.

“Indeed...” She wrinkled her brow slightly. “It’s somehow familiar, yet unfamiliar. I’m certain there’s a woody note, but it’s too faint for a typical perfume. I think the top note might be pepper... I’m not sure.”

“I told you, it’s my body scent.”

“Let’s just say I believe you,” she said, letting let go of my arm. “But it’s unique. I like it.”

“Yeah?”

“Yes. It’s faint enough to be hard to detect, but if I’m close by, I’ll definitely know it’s you.”

“Oh.”

“It’s personally my style. If only it had more of an alcohol kick, I’d like it even more. But I suppose normal body odor can’t have that.”

Though her face was expressionless, a subtle air of satisfaction drifted around her.

A faint smile tugged at my lips.

‘All right. That worked.’

While she would adapt herself to society in the real future, right now, I was adapting to her, adopting a specialized “communication method” for Yu Ji-won.

‘If my younger self noticed what kind of person she was and still decided to help her... he might have gone as far as creating a one-of-a-kind perfume for her sake.’

Of course, he wouldn’t have had the same budget or skill. He’d have messed with cheap brands and probably messed up plenty of times. But for me, with advanced knowledge in perfumery, it was simple to find an optimal formula.

‘Anyway, it’s enough.’

I kept getting closer to Yu Ji-won.

Prosopagnosia was no barrier, she quickly got used to my “artificial body scent” and stopped confusing me for others. Her psychopathic personality likewise posed no obstacle between us.

“Now then. Gas money is 100,000 won for this month.”

“That’s acceptable.”

“Your tab for rides so far is about 270,000 won. Like I said, I’ll charge interest at standard rates.”

“Understood. I plan to pay it all back in one go this year, anyway.”

From her parents to her classmates, everyone struggled when dealing with Yu Ji-won because they just didn’t know how to talk to her. However, once you figure it out, she’s not quiet at all. In fact, she can be downright talkative. Just think back to how much adult Yu Ji-won would gush whenever she needed to flatter me in the future.

“So you might study abroad in the U.S. eventually?”

“Yes. I plan to start preparing in earnest next year.”

I didn’t bother with: “But you’re poor, how can you afford that?”

“Are you aiming for a STEM major?” I asked instead. “Non-STEM degrees might be challenging overseas.”

“I do prefer liberal arts, but I haven’t made a firm decision.”

Nor did I push: “You should definitely do STEM.”

“Then maybe keep going deeper into Latin and Ancient Greek. People who major in that get treated as rather unique in foreign universities.”

“Really?”

“Sure. And I doubt you’ll face racism, but if you tell them you read the Bible in Latin or especially Euripides in the original Greek, no one’s gonna dismiss you out of hand at least.”

“I see. That’s a perspective I hadn’t considered. It’s a practical plan, since I’ve already begun studying Latin.”

This was how our conversations went.

“But you want to go into politics anyway, don’t you? Wouldn’t going to Seoul National be simpler?”

“I’m still weighing my options. It’s just...”

She stared out the window from where she sat in my Matiz. The hand axe I’d given her earlier still lay across her lap.

“Sometimes, this country feels cramped.”

It was a murmured confession she’d never voice as an adult.

“I don’t know how to describe it exactly, but sometimes, even breathing feels like it’s choking me.”

A light drizzle began tapping the car window.

“It’s like there’s already a ‘right way’ to live in this land. But that way is built more on words than on life itself. People measure their own and others’ existence through collisions of words and phrases.” She paused, then quietly added, “Life is death. Death is not words but something real, right before our eyes, like a mirror for each person. So I can’t understand why people talk as though they’ll never die, layering their ‘life’ on top of mere words.”

Silence.

“Pardon me. I ended up sharing thoughts that are hard to put into language.”

“No.”

When we got a red light, I reached over and patted her shoulder.

I didn’t try stroking her head. That would ruin her carefully prepped model look.

“You’re not wrong... You haven’t made a mistake. And that’s exactly why it’s so tough.”

I wasn’t sure if my words sank in.

She took my hand from her shoulder, lifted it to her nose, and sniffed again. Her quiet inhale merged with the patter of rain, dissolving softly. When the red light turned yellow, she let my hand go. The chilly trace of her touch lingered on the back of my hand.

That day’s outdoor photo shoot got canceled due to torrential rain.

Even though the usual rainy season had passed, climate change hammered new “patch updates” onto Earth’s “server,” pelting it with sporadic downpours.

I was getting anxious.

‘It’s summer.’

This wasn’t just a nostalgic nod to that meme “It was summer.”

‘Fourteen. Yu Ji-won’s summer.’

Cheon Yo-hwa must have had a reason for showing me this era in her illusions.

‘In this season, Yu Ji-won kills her parents.’

In the past... Or perhaps I should say “the far future,” I’d talked with adult Yu Ji-won many times.

“Fuck, I know you murdered someone at fifteen, cut them to pieces, and dumped them in that minari swamp on Mt. Bukhansan. Just trust me, you psycho!”

“Oh. Understood. That statement just made your claim more credible.”

Updat𝓮d from freewēbnoveℓ.com.

“Because it’s a secret no one else knew?”

“To be precise, you got it wrong. It wasn’t at fifteen but fourteen, and it wasn’t Bukhansan, it was Dobongsan.”

At age fourteen, in the dead of summer, Yu Ji-won commits a double parricide, dismembers their bodies, and dumps them in the Dobongsan minari pond.

Upon entering this past illusion, I met the middle-schooler Yu Ji-won in early summer. Now it was August. Summer was flooring the accelerator on time.

I waited nervously for “that day,” and then one night...

Even though it was muffled by the roar of heavy rain, it wasn’t quite enough to escape my inhumanly keen senses: There came the scream of Yu Ji-won’s father.

“Aaagh... Aaaaaaagh!”

However faintly, it pierced through the downpour.

One moment, and I knew.

“It’s tonight.”

Right now, at this very moment...

Yu Ji-won was in the middle of murdering her parents.

Footnotes:

[1] Around $21 USD and $210 USD, respectively.

[2] Around $70 USD and $190 USD, respectively.