Fallen General's Omega (BL)-Chapter 42: Terrifying

After riding in this cramped carriage for a day and a half, I’m itching to get out and stretch my legs. The constant swaying and bumping along the road has made every muscle in my body ache, and the thought of being trapped inside for even a moment longer makes me restless.

"Uhm," Roman mutters, pulling me from my thoughts. I glance over at him, raising an eyebrow in question.

He fidgets for a moment, then stands, moving toward the small table at the center of the carriage. From underneath it, he pulls out a box—a suspicious-looking one at that.

"What’s this?" I ask, already growing curious.

"Ben asked me to give this to you when we were close to the capital," Roman explains, handing me the box with an air of reluctance. I take it from him and, without hesitation, open the lid. Inside is a beautifully crafted cane, unlike the old one I’ve been using—far more elegant, sturdy, and expertly made. The craftsmanship is impeccable, and the dark wood feels smooth under my fingers. Nestled beside it is a folded letter.

Curiosity piqued, I unfold the letter and begin to read:

"Hey, my beloved husband,

I’m not happy about this at all. This was supposed to be your birthday present—the cane you often use is nothing more than a rickety stick.

Since our plans are ruined, I guess I’m giving you your gift sooner than expected. Happy Birthday, and may you live long enough for us to see our grandchildren.

Don’t worry about me. I may not look it, but I’m pretty dangerous myself. I’ll be safe, so focus on what you need to do. Only think of me when you miss me.

P.S. The cane has a secret button. If you remove it, you’ll find yourself in a rather uncomfortable situation. It’s a hidden weapon, coated in poison—very lethal. Use it wisely; you’ve only got three uses.

I hope to see you soon."

I can’t stop the smile that spreads across my face. This letter is so Noelle—practical, a bit cheeky, but full of care. I find myself chuckling softly as I hold the cane, admiring it more now that I know it’s a gift from him.

With a swift motion, I grab my old, rickety cane and toss it out the window of the carriage without a second thought. I watch as it disappears into the roadside foliage, feeling a sense of satisfaction. Noelle was right—it was high time for an upgrade.

I turn the new cane over in my hands, feeling the weight of it, the hidden power it holds. A weapon concealed within an elegant façade—just like Noelle, always full of surprises. I can’t help but feel a deep warmth settle in my chest, knowing he’s thinking of me, even in small details like this. They did say your soulmate knows you best.

"Nice gift," Roman comments, eyeing the cane with appreciation.

"Very," I respond, still smiling. Despite the exhaustion of the journey and the challenges ahead, this small piece of Noelle will stay with me, a reminder of home and the person I’ll return to.

I close my eyes, and a memory from last winter floats into my mind. I can almost hear Noelle’s voice, clear as day, as if he were right here with me.

***

"He’s getting fat," he’d said from behind me, and I had glanced back, still feeding Grape his beloved grapes. The bird had developed quite the appetite, and at the time, I was relieved I no longer had to search for worms. The mere thought of it made me shudder, but I tried to focus on Grape, scrutinizing the bird for signs of this supposed weight gain. ƒree𝑤ebnσvel.com

"I don’t see it," I replied, staring at the plump little creature. Maybe Noelle was exaggerating. I squinted, trying to spot the fat that Noelle claimed was there, but I couldn’t see much of a difference.

"At this rate, he won’t be able to fly. He’ll grow too fat," Noelle said, moving to sit beside me by the fireplace. His presence was always so natural, so comforting. He handed me a steaming cup. "Here, I brought some hot tea."

"Thank you," I said, placing the plate of grapes down and accepting the cup. As I took a sip, the warmth of the tea spread through me, not just physically but emotionally. There was something so grounding about that moment—simple, domestic. It made me feel... content. Safe. Something I rarely allowed myself to feel.

But, of course, Noelle never let things stay peaceful for too long.

"How long are you going to avoid the conversation?" His words made me flinch, the comfort of the moment shattered.

I stayed silent, hoping maybe he’d drop it. But that was wishful thinking.

"Really?" he pressed. "What happened to the Thorne from a few weeks ago? The one talking about how you wanted us to get to know each other? Was that all just a lie?"

"Of course not," I said quickly, almost too quickly, as if trying to convince myself as much as him.

"Then what is it?" he asked, his voice softer now but no less insistent. "You practically know all the names of the kids from my village by now." He was right. I knew the little details about his past, his life before we met. Yet, I’d kept my own guarded, locked away like a dark secret. I sighed, taking another sip of tea, as if it would somehow fortify me for the words I was about to say.

"I’m afraid," I admitted quietly, the words hanging heavy in the air. It was the first time I’d said it aloud, and it felt both freeing and terrifying.

Noelle didn’t say anything, just watched me, waiting.

"You’re so full of light... and goodness," I continued, trying to find the right words. "And me... I’m not a nice guy, Noelle. I’m definitely not a good man. My life is like the darkness of the night, and you... you’re the moon. You shine this bright, beautiful light, and I don’t know how I fit into that."

There it was, my biggest fear laid bare. The fear that I wasn’t enough, that I didn’t deserve someone like him.

Noelle, however, was unfazed. He looked at me as if I’d just said something trivial, as if my insecurities were nothing to fret over. "Is that it?" he asked, almost dismissively. I must have looked confused because he continued without missing a beat.

"Thorne, I’m not here to like some ideal version of you, or whatever this ’nice guy’ image you think I should see. I’m here to like you. The Thorne you are now, the Thorne you were before, and the Thorne you’re trying to become." His words were steady, confident. He reached out, grabbing my arms, and our fingers intertwined. I stared down at our hands, at the way his smaller fingers fit so easily between mine.

"You talk about the moon, how it shines its light, but don’t forget—the same moon observes the rituals and sacrifices of cultists. The moon is theirs too. Besides," he said with a sly smile, "I thought I was your star."

I couldn’t help but chuckle at that, despite myself.

"If you’re the ’nice guy Thorne’ from some small village," Noelle continued, "then I’m the sweet little wife that sends baked goods to the neighbors. If you’re the ’evil lord’ who taxes his starving people and indulges in luxury, then I’ll be the lord’s wife who bathes in milk and honey. If you’re the philanthropist Thorne, then I’ll personally head to the slums to feed the poor."

His grip tightened around my fingers, grounding me in that moment. "And if I’m Thorne the monster, or Thorne the devil?" I asked, still doubtful, still afraid.

"Then, just like with every other version of Thorne, I’ll still be there. The one constant is your wife. Nothing will change that."

I swallowed hard, feeling something deep within me shift. "But I don’t want to change you," I said, my voice quieter now, almost vulnerable.

Noelle laughed softly, shaking his head. "You’re not changing me, you silly man. I’m telling you, you’re worried over nothing. You can’t change me. I’m my own person, with my own thoughts and opinions. You think way too highly of yourself if you think you could shape me into someone else."

I was dumbfounded. Speechless. He had a way of flipping everything on its head, of making my greatest fears seem insignificant.

"Well, I—" I started, but I had nothing to say. He’d rendered me mute.

"Listen to me," he said, his voice soft but firm. "I am who I am, and you are who you are. That’s it. You can try to change, but it won’t matter because we’ve got to meet each other halfway, as ourselves. Now, how about you stop hiding behind this big, bad version of yourself and just be Thorne—the man I’m trying to know?"

***

The memory brings a smile to my face even now. If there’s anyone who truly knows me, it’s Noelle. He sees me—better than I see myself sometimes. It’s terrifying, but at the same time, it excites me more than an

ything. He’s not afraid of the darkness in me, and that’s what makes him my light.