Elysium: Desired by the Cold-hearted Princess [GL]-Chapter 60: A much needed distraction

Electra's Pov

As soon as Seraphina left my room, I slammed the door shut and leaned against it, trying to steady my erratic breathing. My fists clenched at my sides, and I felt my nails digging into my palms as I wrestled with the anger that ran through me.

I wasn't angry with Seraphina—not this time. The anger was entirely directed at myself.

Why didn't I do it? Why didn't I take it further when I had the chance? I could still taste the remnants of our kiss, her hesitant yet magnetic pull, and the way her body responded even when she was trying so hard to resist. I had her, and yet I let her go.

It wasn't like me to hold back. I never held back. Control and dominance were second nature to me, and yet when it came to Seraphina, I hesitated. I let her walk out of that door without taking what I wanted, and that made me furious. Not at her, but at myself.

I paced back and forth in my room, replaying the moment over and over in my head. It would've been so easy. All it would have taken was another kiss, a little more pressure, and Seraphina would have submitted to me completely. I could see it in her eyes—the way she wanted me despite her resistance.

She was torn between desire and disgust—disgust for me, and perhaps for herself too, but she wanted me. I knew it, and still, I didn't act on it.

Why didn't I?

A voice in my head whispered the answer I didn't want to acknowledge. It was fear—not fear of rejection, not fear of losing control, but fear of hurting her. The thought felt foreign, alien even, and I wanted to reject it, to shove it aside as ridiculous.

Since when did I care about hurting anyone? My emotions had always been a mess, chaotic, and dangerous, and I had never cared before if my messed-up emotions ended up jumping out and hurting those around me.

But with Seraphina, it was different.

I didn't want her to see that side of me, the side that I couldn't control, the side that burned so hot and so wild that it left destruction in its wake. I could still remember the last time I lost control—how everything spiraled, how the fire burned brighter and hotter than I could contain.

It wasn't just metaphorical.

My other side was real and terrifying. I wasn't just dangerous. I was a danger, a walking, breathing hazard, and little dove Sera had no idea.

The thought of her finding out filled me with an unfamiliar kind of dread. She already feared me, which was fine—I needed her to fear me to stay in control, but if she found out the truth?

If she discovered that I wasn't much different from Yuna, the person I was trying so hard to pull her away from? She'd look at me with the same mixture of fear and pity that she had when she saw Yuna screaming earlier.

That look—it would undo me.

I stopped pacing and leaned against my desk, staring blankly at the wall. I didn't know why I cared so much about what Seraphina thought of me. I didn't understand why it mattered if she looked at me with disgust or fear.

I was used to people fearing me. Hell, I thrived on it. It gave me power, control, and the ability to bend people to my will, but with her, it was different.

I didn't want her pity or that kind of fear. I didn't want her to look at me like I was something broken or monstrous, even though I was both of those things, and that realization made me feel weak.

I growled in frustration, slamming my fist against the desk. The force sent a jolt of pain up my arm, but I welcomed it. Pain was grounding. Pain reminded me of who I was—what I was. I couldn't afford to lose sight of that, not because of her.

I pulled open the drawer beside my bed, and my fingers fumbled for a moment before landing on the pack of cigarettes I knew was there. I yanked it out, letting out a sharp breath I hadn't realized I was holding.

Flicking the lighter, I watched the fire for a few long seconds before being it to the tip of the cigarette. The first drag filled my lungs with smoke, a familiar burn that momentarily dulled the chaos in my mind.

The sharp taste grounded me, but it wasn't enough. Seraphina was still all over my mind, and I figured I needed a distraction, something stronger than nicotine.

Another drag of the cigarette didn't help, so I paced the room. My gaze flicked to the mirror, where I caught a glimpse of myself: disheveled, irritated, and worst of all, unsettled. I rarely allowed myself to feel this way, and when I did, I always found a way to stamp it out.

I glanced at the clock. 4:47 a.m. I hadn't slept, not a second. My eyes burned, and my muscles ached from pacing the room.

Sex. That was the answer.

It always worked. Nothing cleared my head better than losing myself in someone else's body, forgetting everything except the heat and the power I could wield over them.

But even that felt complicated now. My usual methods of calling someone, snapping my fingers, and having them at my mercy didn't hold the same appeal.

Seraphina's image was burned into my mind, making everyone else seem insignificant. Still, I needed something. The thought of watching others entertain me crossed my mind—an easy distraction where I could simply sit back and enjoy the show. Yet, even that felt hollow.

Frustrated, I grabbed my phone, scrolling through my contacts. Too many options, but none felt right. Not even the usual names that came to mind when I needed release. I hesitated, fingers hovering over the screen, when a sudden knock broke the stillness in the room.

I froze.

For a moment, I thought—no, hoped—it was Seraphina. The idea of her standing at my door sent a shiver through me, but just as quickly, I shoved the thought aside. If it was her, I wouldn't be able to control myself, and I wasn't sure what I'd do if I let my emotions take over.

Cigarette still in hand, I stood, my body heavy from exhaustion. I moved lazily to the door, brushing hair out of my face as I opened it.

"Uria?"

Her familiar face stared back at me, her amber eyes glinting in the hallway light. I leaned against the doorframe, caught somewhere between confusion and intrigue. Of all people, I hadn't expected her to show up at this hour.

"What are you doing in my room at five in the morning?" I asked, my voice low and tired.

Uria shrugged nonchalantly, but there was something calculated in the slight tilt of her lips. "I couldn't sleep," she said simply. "Figured I'd check in on you, see if you were awake."

I raised an eyebrow. Checking in on me? At this hour? The thought was amusing. But as I stood there, staring at her, I realized something: this was exactly what I needed. Uria—bold, unpredictable, and always eager to entertain—was the perfect cure for my restless energy.

A slow, smug smile spread across my face. "Well, lucky for you, I wasn't asleep."

Before she could say another word, I grabbed her by the wrist, pulling her inside with just enough force to make her stumble slightly. As the door clicked shut behind her, I stepped forward, closing the space between us. Her lips parted in surprise, but I didn't give her time to react.

I slammed my lips on hers, kissing her hard and deep, and the rush of it drowned out the storm in my head. She tasted like mint, sharp and clean, a contrast to the smoke lingering on my breath. Her hands flew to my shoulders, gripping me tightly, almost possessively, as I pressed her back against the wall.

The kiss grew hotter, hungrier. She responded just as I knew she would, her body molding to mine, her nails biting into my skin as I pinned her wrists above her head. There was no hesitation in Uria—not like Seraphina. Where Seraphina was soft and hesitant, Uria was wild and demanding.

It was a distraction I needed, but it wasn't enough to fully chase the ghost of Seraphina from my mind.

Pulling away slightly, I let my lips hover against hers, my breath heavy and uneven. "You always know when to show up," I murmured, my voice dripping with satisfaction.

Uria smirked, tilting her head. "What can I say? I know what you like."