Bastard Homunculus: Reborn in the Corpse Pit-Chapter 160: Empty Inside

"I see, they appeared in Carnelian Village. Damn it, I should’ve assigned more forces to the villages," Sighed Jules, as she went through the report.

"Even though they got away again, on the bright side, no one died. First-Class Knight Lloyd Howlite will be just fine after some rest," Remarked Tilda, before adding, "We also got a statement from the shopkeeper of the cosmetics store the fight took place by. And based on what he said, it seems clear that the summoned Hero is indeed being deceived by Plore."

"Yes, he overheard Plore instructing the Hero to kill Lloyd, but the Hero refused. If we can show him the truth and make him realize that he’s been tricked into fighting for the wrong side, Plore’s schemes will fall apart," Nodded Jules, before adding with a sigh, "Of course, we need to actually find them first."

...

...

A little over two months following Akila’s summoning, on the 20th of August, 1919, in Pearl Forest...

Akila was resting under a tree after finishing his training for the day, staring up at the sky while thinking back to his previous life.

He’d been in his final year of college when he was summoned, having turned twenty-two a few months ago. He’d been living an aimless life, mired in loneliness.

"My parents always told me to be kind to others, even if there was no benefit to be gained, and I lived by those words all my life. I was pretty fit and athletic during high school, and I always stood up for people who were being bullied. Even though that ended up making me the prime target for the bullies, I still felt fulfilled by helping people.

But, then, I came to realize that I felt strangely empty inside when I wasn’t helping anyone. I was always self-conscious about the fact that I basically had no personality, I guess that led me to develop something of a hero complex, my desire to help others got to the point of being an obsession.

I never really had any hobbies or interests, except watching anime. The heroic characters really inspired me, I never understood why people over criticized so-called generic protagonists. What’s wrong with being generic? I always liked those characters...maybe that’s because I related them to myself, in a way," He thought to himself.

Despite standing up for so many people, he never really had any close friends. His parents weren’t very well-off, so he attended a cheap public school, where bullying was rampant and the teachers didn’t bother to do anything about it.

And since he ended up painting a target on his back for the bullies, other students tended to avoid him, in fear that they’d get bullied by association.

Things only got worse for him once he got to college, where his helpful natured led to him being taken advantage of by the people around him.

When he finally caught on and called them out, he was mocked and ridiculed, which led him to doubt the very principles he’d lived by, causing him to spiral into a depression.

"I don’t know if things will turn out differently in this world, but I won’t abandon my beliefs so easily. I’ve made up my mind to be like those generic protagonists I admired so much, I’ll save this world. I can’t help but hold onto the optimistic hope that somehow, just like with those protagonists, everything will work out and I’ll save the day in the end.

I honestly don’t care about being showered in praise and gratitude, it’s simply that helping people fulfills me in a way that nothing else does. Even if that sense of fulfillment is fleeting, and I’m left feeling empty again after it eventually wears off, I can’t help but seek it out.

Yeah, when I really think about it, I’m definitely not sane. Like, that time during high school, when the bullies who targeted me started to get especially violent...I provoked them into cornering me, they beat the absolute shit out of me. But that was what I was after, it was a trap I’d lured them into, I set up a hidden camera and recorded the whole thing.

I turned it over to the police and got those guys expelled. Of course, the bullying problem in the school didn’t just magically disappear after that, but things did get a lot better. I still didn’t have any friends though, there were a few people who were friendly with me, but they always kept me at arms length.

I was pretty badly injured with that stunt, I think I missed two whole weeks of school after the beating...but I didn’t mind the pain, I felt satisfied knowing that the expulsion of those jerks would’ve helped save a lot of potential victims in the school. But not long after that, I was left feeling empty again."

He certainly had a slew of mental issues he needed to deal with, which his parents noticed as well. They’d suggested signing him up for some therapy sessions, but knowing that they’d struggle to afford it, he declined.

He acted like he was fine, in order to avoid worrying his parents, even though the emptiness he felt never faded. Every time he managed to fill that emptiness, it wouldn’t last long, he’d eventually revert back to it.

But one thing he had never realized was that a big part of that emptiness was, in reality, loneliness. He’d convinced himself that saving people was the only thing that could fulfill him, and in doing so, it never occurred to him that it was the lack of friends in his life that was a significant factor in that empty feeling.

"Maybe...just maybe, if I can become a real Hero in this world, I’ll finally find some meaning in my life. Maybe that’s what I need to finally feel fulfilled and satisfied. This emptiness, I...I just hate it so much. I want to get rid of it, and then never feel this way again.

Is that really too much to ask for? Is it? How do other people do it? I don’t understand...but I really want to. I want to know how other people feel content in their lives just by existing day to day. I asked around in online forums all the time in my old world, but I never got an answer that made sense," He thought to himself somberly, letting out a quiet sigh before glancing up as Alphonse approached him.

"Is something wrong? You seem...sad," Remarked Alphonse in bemusement.

"I-It’s nothing, I’m fine. I was just thinking back on my previous life, that’s all," Akila shook his head as he put on a smile.

"Reliving some unpleasant memories, I take it? Well, I’m no stranger to that, believe me," He replied, seizing the opportunity to relate himself to Akila.

"Oh, no, I wouldn’t even begin to compare my life to yours. You’ve obviously been through much more harrowing experiences than I ever have, even my absolute worst memories are insignificant compared to yours."

"Perhaps, but that doesn’t make your suffering any less real, am I wrong? Anyway...over this last month and a bit, you’ve progressed immensely, you’ve been able to cut down High Level Monsters with relative ease, not to mention that Water Dragon two days ago, a Critical Level Threat. Both your physical combat and your mastery over your Magic are now comparable to the strongest in the nation...but there is one more concern that needs to be addressed, whether or not you’ll be able to kill our enemies."

"I...I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t conflicted, but at the very least, I’ve prepared myself for it. I’m sorry, I wish I could answer more convincingly, but-..."

"Hey, you don’t need to apologize to me. We are friends now, aren’t we?" Smiled Alphonse as he placed a hand on Akila’s shoulder, hoping that would give him the push he needed to cross that line.

"Huh? Friends? We are?"

"Of course! Or, wait, was I mistaken? Do you not consider me to be a friend?" Responded Alphonse, as he put on a wistful smile.

"N-no, that’s not it! I just...I’ve never really had a friend before. So...yeah," Admitted Akila with an embarrassed smile.

"How pathetic, but I suppose I should play along," Alphonse thought to himself disdainfully, before replying, "Well, in that case, I am honored to be your first friend."

"Y-Yeah, me too! I...I won’t let you down, I’ll do everything I can to help you save the people of this nation, even if...even if I have to kill our enemies to do it," Remarked Akila, a determined look on his face.

"I’m glad to hear it, because we’ll make our next move soon, by targeting the heavy hitters amongst our enemy’s forces," Responded Alphonse, while thinking to himself, "Good, sounds like he should be able to do it now...if he can just succeed in killing one or two people, it should become a lot easier to kill more after that line has been crossed."

"Wow, I can’t believe I really have a friend now, it’s a bit embarrassing how giddy I feel. It’s strange though...that emptiness, I’m not feeling it as much right now. I wonder why that is?"