Singer Sailor Merchant Mage - Chapter 9: Old dogs, old tricks

Alex, a socially awkward guy with a mundane life, dies in the most ridiculous way imaginable — slipping on a banana peel while whacking off to an adult film. His embarrassing demise leads to an even stranger fate: he wakes up reincarnated as Jonny Sins, a rising star in a parallel universe where adult film actors are legendary heroes wielding unique powers of charm, seduction, and stamina.But life as a hero-pornstar is more complicated than it looks. Jonny is guided by Lustina, a seductive, snarky AI system offering him power-ups and quests — all with a price. As he navigates the absurdity of this erotic world, Alex discovers deeper mysteries about the System bound to him. Why was he chosen? What is Lustina’s true purpose? And why does the fate of the erotic multiverse seem to rest on his… performance?Armed with special techniques, limitless stamina, and newfound confidence, Alex must embrace his new identity as the Legendary Hero of Many Professions — doctor, soldier, astronaut, teacher… and aggressive step-daddy — to rise through the ranks and confront the ultimate threat to pleasure and freedom.It’s going to be a wild ride.–––[Jonny I've got an audition for you, are you interested?]Jonny: what's that?[Do you wanna act in a porn fraction? The role is an amateur twick is available for now]Jonny: Do you really want me to act as an amateur twick?.[If you aren't ok playing the role of an amateur twick, there is another role available. The role of an aggressive step daddy]Jonny: I choose the step daddy! I always loved to be a stepdad. I was born to play this role.

On a certain day, Ji Xiao Li led his newly-acquired disciple into a dungeon, feeding him all sorts of priceless red and blue potions.

Teammate: f*ck, tyrant, you have an ore mine at home?

Ji Xiao Li: how did you know my family owns an ore mine?

【Teacher Orders a Salute：disciple, enter the sect, accept my guidance. Tell teacher, what is the sect’s foremost teaching?】

【Milk Tea Small Crisp：Master, isn’t our sect just you and I, what is the foremost teaching?】

【Teacher Orders a Salute：evil, evil disciple! I said to say it so say it!】

【Milk Tea Small Crisp：……】

【Milk Tea Small Crisp：Beat to death YueJian Chunhe that son of a bitch!】

YueJian ChunHe = Milk Tea Small Crisp = Ruan Fenghe

Teacher Orders a Salute = Ji Xiao Li

- Description from Novelupdates

【Valiant Female War God VS Scheming Regent 1V1 Strong Couple, Power Struggle, and Intelligent Plot】In her previous life, Zhan Lan was the adopted daughter of the General's Mansion, who relied on her glorious military achievements to marry the illegitimate son of Emperor Xuanwu, Si Jun.Zhan Lan helped him ascend to the throne and guarded the empire for him.Upon her return from defeating enemies, Empress Zhan finds her husband, who never touched her, and the legitimate daughter of the General's Mansion, Zhan Xuerou, entangled on her bed in Kun Ning Palace.Afterward, the close relatives of the General's Mansion were killed one by one, and the deputy generals of the Zhan family army were murdered!Before dying, Zhan Lan was informed by Zhan Xuerou that she was actually the legitimate daughter of the General's Mansion!Reborn in this life, Zhan Lan advances step-by-step, using schemes and strategies to overthrow the tyrant's regime.The world knows the treacherous minister Mu Yan as lecherous and cruel, but Zhan Lan knows his true identity and strength that can overturn the dynasty!They fake a marriage to join forces in revenge; she punishes the wicked, he finishes them off; she kills, he breaks hearts.But why does the lecherous Regent look at her more and more like a wolf eyeing its prey?Until Mu Yan presses her on the bed and whispers hoarsely: “Lan'er, I'll help you take down the dog emperor, and you help your husband extinguish the fire...”They meet at the pinnacle, sharing the empire as a black-hearted couple.

Starting from today, I am retired. But what should I be doing? I neither have the skills, nor the mind to do business, my only advantage is this pair of hands which have taken this world. What a headache…

Note: The usage of the term “retired” here doesn’t mean retiring from old age, work etc. It’s a specific term to refer to not involving oneself in the affairs of a certain society.